Monday, June 25, 2007

My Miscarriage at 9 Weeks

On Saturday I started spotting at 2 am with a bit of brownish red CM. It looked like what you would imagine a MP to look like. Now I've got very light spotting. It hasn't stopped all day. I'm only 8 weeks 5 days. :(

By Sunday afternoon the spotting had gotten a lot worse. I paged my doctor who called me back within 5 minutes. He told me to come into the office Monday at 9 am. He told me not to go to the ER unless the bleeding got out of control like a hemmorage because otherwise I'd have to wait so long and be uncomfortable. If I did decide to go to the ER, I was to call him so he'd meet me there.

Monday at 4:30 am I woke with a sharp pain. Later I was told this sharp pain was probably the placenta detaching. Very strong cramping started soon after. The cramps got very instense and I started passing very large clots. At this point I got into the shower as it helped with the strong cramps. I've heard them referred to as contractions and I guess that's truely what they were. I passed two large pieces of tissue about the size of my palm. The bleeding was insanely heavy to the point it was runnning down my legs. I couldn't get out of the shower if I had wanted to so I just sat on the floor of the tub clutching my stomach.

A friend told me she miscarried in the shower and at the time I thought it strange. But now I completely understand.

It slowed down very quickly after I passed the tissue and big clots. Then it was like a heavy period. I passed everything on my own at home that morning. It took maybe an hour or two at the most for the active miscarriage. It was scary but I knew what what was going on so I dealt with it. Nothing else could be done. Chris didn't even know at the time.

We were at my doctor's office at 9 am when they opened. I told the receptionist that I had spoken to the doctor the day before and he wanted me to come in. She got a sad look on her face. Within 5 minutes I was walking back to an exam room. I told the nurse that I was having a miscarriage. She took me into the ultrasound room. The tech prepped me and tried to comfort me by saying that a little red staining could be okay. I told her it was much worse than that. She took many pictures with the transvaginal ultrasound and then left me to dress.
We went back to the exam room and got undressed again for the doctor to examine me. I was up on the table and Chris was in the chair holding my hand. We had to wait a moment for the nurse to come back into the room so the doctor could start the exam. The doctor and I made eye contact and he had the saddest look on his face. Just looking at the doctor made me feel so bad that they have to deal with so many losses. After the pelvic exam and reviewing the ultrasound, he said it was a complete miscarriage as my cervix was closed already. I had a blood draw for another beta. The doctor said we needed to monitor my betas to make sure it was dropping appropriately. If my levels didn't drop fast enough or if they went back up it was a sign that there was some retained tissue. And then a D&C was a possiblity.

I did not want a D&C for many reasons. I much preferred losing my baby in the privacy of my own home. However if it was a missed miscarriage, I would not want to go weeks waiting for the miscarriage to start. Everyone is different but I was glad at the time that I had a natural miscarriage.


Advil and a heating pad helped the pain and cramping a lot. My doctor said it was ok to double up on the Advil dosage.

I took it very easy the rest of the week. I spent a lot of time with my feet propped up as I read that could help the bleeding stop sooner. By Friday I was feeling better but very weak.


I continued to bleed and then spot in total of 14 days after the miscarriage. I had another wave of spotting about a week after that. During that spotting I passed a small piece of tissue. The nurse told me that eventually I would pass everything or my body would absorb it.

54 comments:

monica l. said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and understand the urge to go through everything in the comfort of your own home. I've had a miscarriage and stillbirth myself and try every day to figure out ways to view KuKd (knocked up, knocked down) in a positive light. Great blog, by the way!

Aisha said...

I was online trying to find articles about miscarriages. I myself just went through one this past weekend. I was 9 weeks 5 days pregnant (my first pregnancy) when I started spotting brownish blood. I thought it was normal since I had gotten my PAP done the day before. So I didnt really think much of it but I did take it easy and rest a lot. My brown spotting started Wednesday, and then Thursday morning I woke up and saw red streaks on my pantiliner. Thats when I got scared, and as the day went on, I was havng what I would call a regular period. I called my doctor and they told me to schedule an ultra sound to makesure the baby was okay. I was lucky and got an ultrasound for the following day, Friday. My husband and I went that morning hoping for the best, but expecting the worse. I got the regular ultrasound and we saw the gestational sac, so we also got the transvaginal ultrasound to see if we can find a heartbeat. Once the technician was doing the transvaginal, I could see from her face things werent good. I couldnt see the screen of the ultrasound, but later on the wat to my OBGYN I asked my husband if he saw any the heartbeat pulse on the screen, he told me no. Right then and there I was crying in the car. We reached the doctors and they told me they didnt find a heartbeat, and the baby was dating 5 weeks 6 days. I knew that could not be correct, because my periods were always normal, and I knew my dates were not wrong. So they told me to get an HcG to see how my levels were doing. I gave my frst HcG sample on friday, and was to wait till monday to give the other. Well, friday night the bleeding was horrible, it was beyond a heavy period. Then on saturday I was having the worst carmps in my life, I never get cramps with my period, and these were pains like someone was stabbing me. I dont think I ever took as much medicine as I did that night. I went to the bathroom and passed 2 large clots/tisse the size of an orange. One was a regular clot, and the other was a gray color piece of tissue. I knew it was over, i was sitting in the bathroom just crying, and didnt know what to do or how to feel.My husband ran to the bathroom and calmed me down. I know inside he was as crushed as I was, we were both so excited to become parents.
Today is wednesday, I went to give my HcG on monday, and still havent gotten the result yet. My HcG from friday ws 2700, which is also low. :-(
Now the bleeding is better, but still heavy at times, with smaller clots. The cramps are almost gone and bearable now.
My doctors told me I most likely passed everything at home, but I'll go back for a checkup and possibly an ultra sound to make sure everything has cleared.

I just wanted to let you know, you're not alone, as I was feeling so alone and sad these past few days. I still get tears just thinking about it. And sometimes I'll just start crying. One of my friends who also had a miscarriage last year said the sad feeling will remain until we get pregnant again. But everyday the saddness will get better, and one day, we'll be pregnant again. Best of luck to you! :-)

jess said...

i just lost my first baby after a week of being on the couch, feet proped, sleeping there and everything. it stopped the bleeding some but in the end....it didn't help. i went in for my last beta on friday and the results weren't good. the levels weren't rising and i was spotting. i started to bleed worse in the lab...i got home and my mom bought me and my boyfriend some groceries..just a random thing she does for me, especially when there really isn't anything else physical she can do for me..the bleeding got much worse and i spoke with the doctor, this is when he told me the levels weren't rising anymore and that the baby had died. i dont really know how far along i was. at around nine pm the contractions were unbearable. my boyfriend got me to the hospital and they watched me for a while, i went to use the restroom and had my baby in a damn hospital bathroom. it was awful...the worst thing that's ever happened to me. she was about the size of my palm. i never even got to see pictures of her. and then i flushed her down a toilet. i was terrified. the bleeding continued after that and im home now. i'll never forget the feeling of losing my baby and the image keeps going through my mind. im very devastated...

Aisha said...

Hi Jess, I just read your post, and I can feel you devistation. Today, Dec 14th, I would have started week 10 pf my pregnancy, and I also had a m/c and passed the baby in the bathroom. I couldnt physically make out the shape og the baby, but I knew that the clot I passed was all the tissue, the gestational sac and placenta. That image keeps haunting me, and i understand when you say you're devestaed. i dont think we can ever forget what happened, but we'll start to move on once we become pregnant again. so till then, i guess we're eachothers support system, and with so many other women out there to help us, we'll get through it. :) try to stay happy, and do things to keep you busy.

Amber said...

I just had a miscarriage myself on Dec 23rd. Just one week ago. This was my first pregnancy, and I was 9 weeks and 5 days along. I had started spotting around the 6th week, but not heavy. At 8 weeks, I experienced heavier spotting with cramps. I went to the emergency, where they performed an ultrasound. The baby was alive and everything looked normal. Soon after, the spotting seemed to have slowed right down. I thought I was in the clear. Until about a week later, I started to bleed heavily, quite similar to a period. I had a sinking feeling that something was not right. I went back to the emergency, where they took blood to check my hCG levels. It was not good news. I was in the process of a miscarriage. They scheduled an ultrasound for the next day. That morning I used the washroom, and saw some tissue in the toilet. However, it wasn't a sac like some of you have described. It looked as though everything had just fell apart. I was given some pills to help me pass the rest. The contraction pain was unbearable. The bleeding has slowed right down, and I am visiting the doctor next week to ensure everything has passed. My husband and I are devastated, but understand that this just wasn't meant to be. We are anxious to try again.

Tracy said...

I'm sorry to hear about your losses, ladies.

((big hugs))

It's an emotional roller ride for sure. I think it helps to talk about your experiences and to get support either in real life or online. Talking about it kept me from going insane.

I wish you much luck in the future.

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry for your losses...I, myself have had four miscarriages and three very beautiful children. I had a recent miscarriage on Jan. 22, I was 11 almost 12 weeks along and going for my second visit. This visit was to hear my babies heart beat; I went in and regular visit then came time to find the babies heart beat; after tryinf for a bit she went and got another machine, we saw the baby in the uterus and all then she said I was measuring about 8 weeks and recommended a ultra sound. Over the weekend, I was ok on saturday, then came sunday, I was spotting in the morning, which I thought was ok becasue it was light and it happened when I had my second child, then it started to progress, it was darker and I could feel discharge like a period, I waited til monday adn called the doctor she wanted a sooner ultra sound; I had one the next day, I went in hoping for the best but knew there was something wrong, I went in did the regular ultra sound, they did not let me see the picture which they usually do if there is something present and alive, they did not say anything to me then told me that they were going to do a vaginal ultra sound. It was done and still nothing, I could see it in there eyes that it was not good, they tried to stay positive and afterwards, they told me to wait in the waiting room until the doctor phoned me, I waited about 15 minutes and I got the phon ecall saying "well hun, I'm sorry but it looks like a miscarriage" I was so sad I cried and said ok and hung up the phone and cried to my husband...I returned to work the next day feeling sad because there are 3 other pregnant ladies at work, later that night around 12:30pm I felt minor cramping, I went to the bathroom and sat tehre for almost 30 minutes, feeling like I had to pee, everytime I felt pain, I had clots and after about the 4th sharp pain, I felt something big pass through, I tooked a look at it and knew it was the baby, this was the biggest miscarraige compared to the other 3, it looked like a peice of liver or lung attahced to a large blood clot, I didn't know what to say or do, I cried to myself and when I wasn't bleeding so much, I hopped in the shower and I let warm water run on me for about 30 minutes. I decided that I wasn't goin g to have any more kids because these 4 miscarriages makes my world turn up side down...but then again, I have my 3 beautiful children that are alive, healthy and well and I am so thankful for that, they are my world my life...I know that it is hard, but slowly you will get thru it, I'm glad I'm not the only one out there, I'm releived that I can shared this and not keep it all inside to myslef, thank you for sharing your stories...

Tracy said...

I'm so sorry for your losses. Even if you have other children, it's still very painful to have a miscarriage. Please don't let anyone discount your need to grieve.
((hugs))

Anonymous said...

I wish I had some physical indication that I have m/c because I feel like my body has betrayed me. Yesterday my husband & I went to OB for our first ultrasound together (8w 5d) and the doctor discovered that our little one had no heartbeat. She checked again w/a more sensitive machine, but it only confirmed the worst. I am having a D&C today because I have not had any blood whatsoever & I do not want to wait until it happens naturally. We have a 3yo girl and I want to get better quickly both physically & emotionally so that I can focus on her and get through the grief. We are both devastated, but also hopeful that life goes on. My most heartfelt wishes to all the bloggers here that they will conceive again successfully should that be their wish.

jess said...

you really can't definetly hear a heart beat at eight weeks, that seems iffy to me. you might want a second opinion especially since you haven't had any signs. dr's are only people...ONLY. they don't know EVERYTHING.

Anonymous said...

Hello Ladies - so sorry to hear of all your pain - I lost a baby at 14 weeks and it was diagnosed by ultrasound after being checked out as I was exposed to the Fifth Disease. The following day I was induced in hospital and delivered my son - and yes it was into one of those dolly's they put over the toilet in hospitals. Those images and the whole experience still send shivers down my spine - and even though many have said that a home experience seemed best - the nurses cleaned up our son, and we got to hold him, have him blessed by clergy, have his picture taken, and then he was cremated and his ashes are with us always - as much as the hospital was an unpleasant surrounding I'm glad I was there.

Ella said...

I'm 16 years old, and I recently just had a miscarriage. I was 2 almost 3 months along. At my age, raising a baby is difficult but I loved my baby and I'll miss never being able to meet it. Words can't describe how it feels to lose a baby.

Tracy said...

Ella, I'm so sorry for your loss.
((hugs)) Of course you loved your baby and will miss him or her.

I'm sure people have said awful things to you like, "It's for the best because of your age."

Miscarriage is never for the best. It is a very difficult thing to go through. You had hopes and dreams for that baby. It was yours.

Let yourself grieve and heal from the loss. There are many support groups out there and online.

((more hugs)) to you

Anonymous said...

I just had a miscarriage on sunday (Sept 20) i went into the hospital where they did blood work, pelvic exam then an ultrasound on the 21st. On friday i had a really bad cramp in my stomach, then on saturday i woke up bleeding alot. I thought the worst was over but last night at about 4:30 i started bleeding ALOT, like going through a pad in 15 minutes, very large clots coming out. So i went to the hospital again, where they did more blood work, another pelvic exam and a D&C. I cry everytime i am alone. it's really hard :(

Aisha said...

To Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.I know it can be very tough, and it's really hard to get through. But with time, you will heal, and you will get through this. It's ok to cry...it's normal and part of the healing process. My prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

I was on my laptop looking up miscarriage at nine weeks, i lost my baby 6th oct 09.
When i found out i was so happy and so was my partner, we both told our parents and they were so happy for us.
i was nine weeks when i start spotting, i didnt worry to much because i've heard of people having periods in the first few months, but three days later the spotting became like a heavy period, and the cramps were really bad, at one stage i couldn't walk or sit down. I went to the hospital and they done a scan and he could see da sack so we thought everythin was ok a couple days later it got alot worse so back to the hospital and another scan, but this time they couldn't see anything, i got sent home and was told to go back in the morning for an internal scan, it was the same as the nite before they couldn't see anything. my partner and I are so heart broken, we don't know wat to do with ourselves. I know in time it will get easier but right now it dont seem that way, it feels good been able to get all this out i'm sorry for everyone's loss we all know how we feel, and i just hope we dont have to go through it again, i hope our next pregnancy goes to full term and have a beautiful baby in our arms at the end of it.

Anonymous said...

i'm really sorry to hear about your lost. we're you given any medicine for your miscarriage? like antibiotics and the like?

Must keep faith said...

Sorry to hear about your loss ladies, I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks 5 days. I had no idea, no bleeding,no spotting or cramping. The ultrasound tech said that the heartbeat stopped around 7 weeks. How is this possible with no bleeding at all. I was so devastated as I brought my 7 year old son and husband into the ultrasound room with me. It was crushing to hear that there was no longer a heart beat. I felt cheated because I had no signs that my baby was no longer alive. My son was devastated and he said"this was supposed to be the happiest day of my life". That broke my heart further. I am scheduled for a D&C for Monday. This is not fair. We have been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. Why is it so hard?

Tracy said...

How devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

I hope the D&C and recovery goes as smoothly as possible. It's so tough physically and emotionally to go through a miscarriage.

In case your doctor didn't explain it to you, it sounds like you had a missed miscarriage. The baby's heartbeat stops but the placenta continues to make hormones. Those hormones can continue to you feel like you are still pregnant and no bleeding occurs. Your body "missed" the miscarriage. After some time, your body eventually catches up and the bleeding would begin on its own. Waiting for that to happen can take weeks so some choose to get a D&C so it's over with.

Thinking about you.

kelly said...

I just went through a miscarriage tonight. I never thought I would have one. I found out I was pregnant at four weeks. At 4w2d, they called to tell me my second blood test indicated that the pregnancy was nonviable, most likely a chemical preg. I was crushed. I went back for a third test to make sure my numbers were going down..well..they weren't they had risen quite a bit. Still pregnant afterall! Could it be a miracle? We had renewed hope and joy once again. I kept having blood test after blood test to track my hcg levels, and then the vaginal ultrasounds started, too. They could see a sac, but no fetus. So I came back the next week. My numbers were still rising, but they still weren't sure if the pregnancy would last. Today I am seven weeks two days along. I now know for sure this baby didn't make it. I was a touch crampy and a bit dizzy all day. Nothing outrageous, though. These weeks of waiting, testing, monitoring and praying have been tortuous. I prayed that god would let me mc naturally, at home. I really really did not want a d&c. When my tests today were still inconclusive, I sobbed in frustration. I then drove home from the doctor, walked in the door, hugged my husband and misscarried. It was the saddest thing, but I was so thankful I got to be in my home with my husband. I felt a large softball sized mass exit my vagina. I was horrified and I didn't want to see it. I pulled down my pants and my husband took it all away so I didn't have to see it. Over the next hour I bled heavily and passed four or five more large clots. I never had hardly any cramping or pain. I am thankful for that. I imagine that this baby was too perfect for this world, and went straight to heaven to be with god upon conception. I will meet my angel someday. I've already been graced with one beautiful daughter. This makes me even that much more thankful for her. I hopr to have many more children and I will continue to keep trying.

Claudia said...

First of all I would like to thank you for sharing your story.

I got married last August(2009) to my best friend. I think if it were up to him we would have gotten pregnant from day 1. Funny enough I think we got pregnant right after the wedding. 2 weeks before our wedding I was told I would have extreme difficulties getting pregnant and had come to terms with that at this point. We both took a "what will be, will be" attitude and were not expecting to get pregnant anytime soon.

In October I started what I thought was my period. I have never been regular and even if there was something to notice I probably wouldn't have due to my abnormal cycles. I went to bed Friday feeling icky, headache, cramps, and my back was hurting. I tossed and turned all night in discomfort. I got up Saturday morning at 5:30am, but could not move. It hurt so much, my back was aching, my stomach was cramping and I had a very strong sharp pain pulsing throughout my lower back and abdomen. I could barely sit up and when I took the first step down the stairs I couldn't help but yell out a bit. I though I was just having a really painful period and didn't wake my husband. I typically took a shower to help with the cramps so I made my way down the stairs slowly. As soon as I got in the shower the pain got worse and I could no longer stand. I doubled over and just held my stomach. When I stood back up I passed what seemed to be 2 palm sized pieces of redish tissue. I was bleeding a lot and although it seemed like the pain had stopped I still felt a throbbing sensation. I yelled out for my husband to come down and help me out of the shower.

We went to the ER and the nurse that initially saw us said it appeared to be 6-8 weeks. I was asked if I knew if I was pregnant. I said no I didn't think I was and so the ran some tests to test my levels and did an exam. The Dr. said I looked a little inflamed, but nothing looked serious and she said my tests showed I was not pregnant.

I went through a similiar experience, but you knew you were pregnant and I didn't. I never really dealt with what happened. The Dr. never said I miscarried, but those who knew what happened say I did. I feel like I wasn't given the chance to fully process my emotions. It's been about a year that we have been trying to get pregnant and have had no luck, I know I was told I would have difficulties, but we were hopeful. I can't help but feel that that time might have been my only chance and because I didn't bother to pay closer attention to my body I lost out, if I would have known I could have possible done something different.

Once again, thank you for sharing, and allow a place for me to finally say/write out loud what I have been holding on to for so long.

Mazafied said...

To everyone who has experienced a MC, my heart goes out to you.

Having 3 angel babies, who were called home, btwn 7 1/2 & 10 wks gestation, I know how hard it can be to work through the emotions when you have had such high hopes & plans for your little one/s.

Like "Clauda", I too was told that I would not have children easily. My fertility specialist told me that my husband & I were one of the most difficult cases he had ever seen.(I had lvl 4/5 endo, it compromised & twisted my bowel, damaged my kidney, my bladder & one ovary; My husband had pre-pubescent mumps)

I had my resection/repair of the endo & my organs etc, & soon after was told, we would "never fall pregnant without advanced assisted fertility / IVF procedures", but just before we were to commence our 1st round of fertility treatments, we fell pregnant (naturally) with our beautiful little “Miracle” boy who is now 17 1/2 mths old. My Fertility specialist was stunned when I told him I was pregnant & all the tests he ran came back positive re HcG levels etc.

From about 3 mths onwards, it was a horribly complicated pregnancy, resulting in sporadic bleeding from full placenta previa & pre-term rupture of membranes @ 34 wks and birth via emergency CS @ 35wks. Our son had an extended stay in the "Neonatal Special Intensive Care Nursery", it was hard to see him hooked up to all the monitors & tubes, including the nasal gastric feeding intubation, but it was all worth it to have such a beautiful, normal, & now healthy little man who I could not imagine living my life without. I have been told if I ever have another child, it will not end well for either of us, & although my husband & I are devastated, we are grateful that we have our little miracle.

"Claudia", keep the faith. I know it is hard, when you have the odds stacked against you, but you never know what is going to happen in this life. I hope that one day, you too will have your own little miracle baby.

Mazafied said...

To everyone who has experienced a MC, my heart goes out to you.

Having 3 angel babies, who were called home, btwn 7 1/2 & 10 wks gestation, I know how hard it can be to work through the emotions when you have had such high hopes & plans for your little one/s.

Like "Clauda", I too was told that I would not have children easily. My fertility specialist told me that my husband & I were one of the most difficult cases he had ever seen.(I had lvl 4/5 endo, it compromised & twisted my bowel, damaged my kidney, my bladder & one ovary; My husband had pre-pubescent mumps)

I had my resection/repair of the endo & my organs etc, & soon after was told, we would "never fall pregnant without advanced assisted fertility / IVF procedures", but just before we were to commence our 1st round of fertility treatments, we fell pregnant (naturally) with our beautiful little “Miracle” boy who is now 17 1/2 mths old. My Fertility specialist was stunned when I told him I was pregnant & all the tests he ran came back positive re HcG levels etc.

From about 3 mths onwards, it was a horribly complicated pregnancy, resulting in sporadic bleeding from full placenta previa & pre-term rupture of membranes @ 34 wks and birth via emergency CS @ 35wks. Our son had an extended stay in the "Neonatal Special Intensive Care Nursery", it was hard to see him hooked up to all the monitors & tubes, including the nasal gastric feeding intubation, but it was all worth it to have such a beautiful, normal, & now healthy little man who I could not imagine living my life without. I have been told if I ever have another child, it will not end well for either of us, & although my husband & I are devastated, we are grateful that we have our little miracle.

"Claudia", keep the faith. I know it is hard, when you have the odds stacked against you, but you never know what is going to happen in this life. I hope that one day, you too will have your own little miracle baby.

Aisha said...

It has been a while since I have been on here, but I do get email updates when there is a new post. So I have been reading all the new posts. And having gone through what you all have, I know how much hurt and pain you are feeling. After my m/c I didnt think I could move on and get over it.

But time heals everything. My husband and I were blessed with a little boy who is now 13 months old.

I got pregnant 3 months after my m/c and everyone told me it was too soon and this pregnancy would also result in a m/c. But thankfully it went well, my labor was pretty rough, 24 hrs with a placental abruption and pain medication didnt work and my son was in the NICU b/c he swallowed blood. All in all, it was a rough labor but in the end we came home with a healthy baby.

I haven't forgotten our angel baby, and i often catch myself wondering what that baby would have looked like, or what milestone he would be at when I see our son playing.

But with time, we learn to heal ourselves and look forward.

So to all who are experiencing a rough time right now, we all know what you are going through, and my advice is to let your emotions out, don't hold them, you need to express how you feel so you can heal.

I hope everyone is blessed with happiness!! happy holidays!!!
Aisha

STAY-C said...

I know that it is 2011 and it has been along time since you have writen this. I could not help but cry I am going through something of the same right now. I was told that there was not heartbeat when i went to the doctor at 9 weeks. I am having a heard time about the situation but as i read what other women have gone through it gives me hope that every thing will be ok. I am very sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for posting this. I was diagnosed with a miscarriage a couple weeks ago and just started bleeding today. I really wanted to know how it would feel and what would happen and this really helped out a lot with what I can expect. Thank you.

nicole said...

Hi im so sorry to hear of all your losses.I just had a miscarriage 3 days ago and it was the worst thing to go through. This was my 3rd pregnancy, i was 9 weeks pregnant and started with brown spotting 2 weeks prior but it was i thought normal, at 7 weeks i had an ultrasound and they told me it wasntt looking good that the fetus was only 2mm and the heartrate was slow. then they did a ultrasound a week later and told me the baby had grown to 6.95mm and heartrate 125bpm which was great but the gestational sac was measuring a week behind the baby and thats a huge sign of m/c. I was so upset but i knew it was now a waiting game i would be checking every 5 min to see if i was bleeding. At 9 weeks i started spotting again but it was red, i slept trough the night, by the morning i was having the worst stabbing pains and by time my husband got me to emerg i had severe contractions an hr later the dctr did an internal and told me the cervix was opened and he pulled out the tissue, i was devestated. I have 3 healthy children and thankful for them i dont want to go through that ever again.

Tracy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a very difficult thing to go through. The ups and downs are stressful. And then the reminders of what was lost can be devastating. Take your time to heal and grieve.
((hugs))

AnnaJo said...

I miscarried in 2008, and am still very emotionally scarred afterwards. Our vicar told me that he knew of a lady who was in her sixties who still broke down when she spoke of the miscarriage she'd suffered in her twenties/thirties.

I was at week nine when I miscarried. I'd had spotting early on, I'd been for a scan thinking I was eight weeks and they advised I was six weeks, but we got to see the heartbeat, which was amazing, made it real and the tiredness and nausea all worth it!

Three weeks is all I had, and when it came I was home alone. The pain, cramps, bleeding, clots... I put a music channel on and bent over our bed waiting for the contractions to pass, agonising every time I went to the bathroom, losing our child and flushing it away like nothing important. It's heartbreaking.

The second scan the day after confirmed I'd lost the baby, and the third confirmed my body had done a good job and that everything was clear. Empty is more like it.

Do others here feel that you come to terms with it and rationalise it all, and then something happens and even years on, you break like glass in an instant?

Anonymous said...

Sorry ladies to hear your sad losses. Have just come back from hospital to have a routine internal scan, two weeks ago we saw the heartbeat and all was fine and the baby was growing well. went back for another followup today, but there was no heartbeat and the baby could not be seen am about 9weeks and 5 days, so they think it is al over. I have no pains at all and there has not been any spotting. Very devasted as I have been trying for over ten years. i cannot stop crying as am not sure what went wrong. katu

Anonymous said...

I just lost my first baby. Found out on Thursday morning I was pregnant and I was scared but decided to keep it, then this morning I had a miscarriage :( I am 19 and was so excited to be a mum...

Tracy said...

I'm so sorry. Whether the pregnancy was planned or not, it's still a loss and something to grieve. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

I found out i was 9 weeks pregnant last week, but unfortunately miscarried on the thursday night. Doc said that it was inevitable and there was nothing that can be done. I just feel empty inside, my sister in law had her baby thursday morning and everywhere i look there is a baby or a pregnant women. I'm trying to stay positive and keep busy, but its hard and i feel for everyone on here who has been through the same thing.

Anonymous said...

I know these are kind of old post....but thank you so much for posting your stories on here! I thik I may be in the middle of a mc and it helps to know what to look for and that I am not alone!

Anonymous said...

Ladies, I admire your courage and the fact that you have the determination topic your heads up, share your stories and look ahead. Your experiences will never be discounted and you will see those little angels again, sitting on God's lap, calling, "Hi Mommy." Sharing your stories have helped a many strangers to cope with their losses. May God bless and keep you. Hugs from a stranger.

Anonymous said...

It appears that 9 weeks 5 days is a common number. Today at nearly eleven weeks I have discovered that bubs heart stopped beating at 9 and 5. This is my 2nd lost bub this year and such a saddening moment. The previous bubs heart stopped at 11 weeks and 5 days. It is very upsetting especially when you have experienced morning sickness and you are showing. I would be a mess if I did not have one beautiful little boy to assure me that we can do this. I am actually greatful that the bub decided on its' own terms that time was up as I would have hated to have the 12 week scan and have a hard decision to make if there were major issues.My last D and C was easy,no bleeding,painless and I will be happy to have another and avoid the pain and sight of my lost bub that many of you have experienced.xoxo

Anonymous said...

im so very sorry for your losses too. My wife had a miscarriage about a year ago, our first baby. we were so hurt i was so sad and she was devastated,reading your stories helped us overcome our pain somehow.right now shes 9 weeks pregnant again, its 3;00 am i cant sleep, tomorrow we are going to the doctor to make an examination, until now everything seems to be going fine, but i know shes very scared, and i am too but try to be optimistic and supportive,i dont want to se her go throu that again and i dont want to feel that pain again, i never imagined it would be so painful specially when two times before long time ago i convinced my girfriend at that time to have an abortion, something i will regret all my life.im so scared, and i dont want my wife to suffer and be sad, and im here alone unable to sleep, unable to pray as i think i dont deserve it, but hoping with all my heart that tomorrow we will hear a heart beat, that we will hear good news, and we will have a baby. i feel so alone now, so vulnerable, so in fear,and reading your stories just break my heart. i send you all my love and my wish that you all are blessed
and i hope just hope that my dear wife will have a smile in her face tomorrow morning . adan Narvaez

Anonymous said...

Hi all-

Sorry for all your losses I had an induced miscarriage yesterday, I didn't even have the chance to know when my baby lost its heartbeat because on the US yesterday he couldn't see a sac, yesterday I would have been 9 weeks exactly,at 8 weeks and 5 days an US shows no heartbeat and was hoping that next week that is on the 9th would show a heartbeat,I was bleeding and cramping for this whole week but mildly and thought I would be one of those who bleeds during pregnancies, my doctor gave me some tablets 4 to be inserted viganally and then 2 pills each 8 hours, yesterday 2:00 I was home alone and I started have horrible pain, my back legs and tummy of course, I started screaming and crying also praying to Got to make it pass quickly at 3 I called my husband begging him to come home, I was already sitting on the athroom floor when I suddenly started puking and almost choking, something very big passed in my panties and pads and then it stopped, I stayed on the bathroom floor till hubby came hour and half later due to traffic jam,he helped me up, we both looked at the tissue I passed it was huge grey and covered with blood, w threw it away had me chnage in fresh clothes hugged me till I fell asleep. I am sorry I am sharing graphic details, I am in pain emotionally and it was a horrible experience, I wish it is over now, this would have been our first child, I will see my doctor in ten days, I am very sad, but all those posts made me feel better, thanks for sharing everyone and good luck to everyone.
Xoxoxox
Shemo

Anonymous said...

Hi all-

I am so sorry for all your losses, I miscarried on the 7th of Sep or actually that was my induced miscarriage. On the 6th of Sep I was supposed to be 9 weeks and that was my second visit to the doctor that is also my first pregnancy I am 32 years old, I was bleeding mildly for a week and also had a mild cramping, at 8 weeks hubby took me to a friend of his a doctor and I had an U/S but we couldn't find a fetus heartbeat and since then I knew for sure that I have lost my lil one though my husband was very hopeful. My doctor gave me pills to have an induced miscarriage after saying his sorries. 4 to be taken vaginally and then 2 pills orally each 8 hours for 4 days. I am so upset that the doctor couldn't see a sac and he said it might have passed and I didn't notice and he said if there was anything he would have seen it of course. I would also like to add that when I started bleeding my doctor prescribed progesterone injections 100 mg daily just in case, I had very mild symptoms really by the 8th week they were all gone. 7th of Sep 3:00 am I inserted the 4 pills sadly and went to bed,I woke up Wednesday at 1:00 pm with very mild cramps I kept dozing on and off, by 2 my cramps started to go crazy I curled myself on bed but didn't feel any better I took profnied pain killer but didn't help, I also took another one called cataflam and still didn't work, I thought that I would need to drink lots of water, sat on the toilet cramps and contractions was increasing, I puked nothing and almost choked, by 2:30 pm I was doubling on the bathroom floor crying and screaming and begging God to help me out of my misery I called my husband and asked to come immdeatly I was screaming out of pain, he said am coming now, I started puking again and as I did something very big passed out of me and then it all stopped, all I had was a piercing pain on my right side, and I felt very cold, I couldn't get up of the floor, by 3 I was relieved but I started crying for my pain my baby and how himulating and painful this experience was. I thanked God that it happened at home, and no one was there, my hubby came in, helped me up. I sat on the toilet and saw a very big tissue almost 23 cms my husband said that this is a placenta (he is a doctor) he took a look at it with gloves and said that there is no fetus or sac inside, he assuered me that there won't be anymore pain, all I did was rest and cry, I am in so much I miss my baby, I have read all your posts and every post was very touching, I am sorry that was too long I just wanted to share my experience and get it off my chest, because I don't want to talk to anyone about it.
Good luck all xoxooxoo
Shemo

Anonymous said...

Im very sorry for your loss. I two lost my baby only 8 weeks 6 days old, yesterday. I went into the ER because I was spotting, this being my first pregnancy I didn't know if it was normal or not. They did a sonogram and couldn't find a heartbeat and a pelvic exam but the doctor said my cervix was closed. He ordered an ultrasound which unfortunately showed that my baby had no heartbeat. I was supposed to be 12 weeks. The doctor had tears in his eyes when he came into the room to tell me. I was heartbroken. My fiance just left three weeks ago to serve in Afghanistan. This was monday. Yesterday I went to the OB clinic. The doctor examined me and my cervix was only opened slightly. I had awoken to very intense cramps and I was passing blood clots. He opened my cervix all the way and I immediately started gushing blood. He gave me the option to go home and naturally miscarry but I chose to do the D&C procedure. I give props to the women who can naturally have a miscarriage but I was not strong enough. I just wanted this whole horrible experience to be over with. Im doing better but I wish I had my baby back. I wish his little heart would've just started beating again. I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for sharing our stories. They make me feel less alone at such a terrible time. My husband and I just found out at our 12 week ultrasound that our baby did not have a heartbeat. The baby only measured 9.4 weeks and I was 12.4 weeks. We had a 'dating' ultrasound at 8 weeks and everything was fine. I am grateful we had the chance to see our healthy little one then during the ultrasound. I didn't have any signs that anything was wrong. I still have not had any cramping or bleeding. I understand that this is considered a "missed miscarriage". I am hoping that my body will start the process soon as I really don't want to have a D&C. I have NEVER been more thankful for my healthy, vibrant 2 year old son.
Again, I cannot thank you all enough for sharing your stories. They have helped to prepare me for whats coming next and to know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Anonymous said...

sorry about your loss dear. i also had an incomplete miscariage 9weeks ago when i was 10 weeks 5 days went to the hospital where i was given mfepristone but nothing happened was discharged from hospital after 2days. and now 9 weeks after am bleeding heavily with clots am a bit worried coz have never bled this much before though

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this. Though it is much later, your words still help others. It came up as I googled looking for support as I am going thru it right now. I so appreciate reading your true account of what happened.

Carly said...

I had a miscarriage August 17th 2011 it started at home at 12 midnight by 6:00Am I was at the hospital when the doctor checked my cervix at 8:00Am it was still closed and they said everything was fine they did an ultrasound and could not detect the baby's heart beat on the screen so they kept me till 3:30 4:00pm to monitor me and to see if the bleeding got heavier at 7:15pm the same day I was back at the hospital because the bleeding got heavier and the cramping got worse at 11:15pm a part of the baby came out at 11:30 the rest of the baby came out and they gave me a perk for pain I was only 9 weeks and 4 days

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry for your losses.
My sister was told she would have a hard time becoming pregnant, yet she did naturally 5 months after her wedding. Today, at 9 weeks she was told there was no baby. And that the sac had not grown. I wished she would get another opinion. Although she has been saying she cramps and has lower back pain - are this symptoms? I can only imagine her devastation! And, although in time she will probably be able to conceive again, if there is a miscarriage. How can I help her now? How can I help her through this? I am a mother yet I have never had a miscarriage.

bianca a said...

I just found out today my baby no longer had a heartbeat at 9 weeks, I had a fealing going into the Dr office he was going to have bad news for me. On Friday the 13, what would have been 7 weeks I went to the hospital due to heavy bleeding the er Dr said he couldn't see anything. and I was to follow up with my regular Dr the next day, on a Monday my Dr ran my beta and said everything was fine. I went in today for my first Sono and was told our baby had no heartbeat. This would have been my first baby. I would like to do the at home way I've seen many of you talk about but don't think I can deal with "flushing " my baby down the toilet, any advice would be greatly apreciated..... Thank you all for sharing your story and letting me share mine sometimes its easier to write it down then to say it out loud...

Unknown said...

autscreiBianca-
I am very sorry for your loss, and know how you must be feeling. I had my m/c 3 years ago. But it still seems like yesterday, I can remember every feeling and all the pain i went through, emotionally and physically.

I had a natural m/c. My doc took my blood and did an ultrasound and she confirmed the baby had no heartbeat anymore. I was sent home to naturally have the m/c.

I will tell you, when I passed the baby (a lump of tissue and blood the size of an orange) I was horrified. Most women pass everything while on the toilet, I however wasnt on the toilet and was making my way over to the bathroom when I felt strong cramps and the feeling like I was passing something.
I didnt believe I had had a m/c until that moment, and I broke down, I was crying and screaming. Thankfully my husband was with me and he helped me get through it.

I know some women get a d/c (surgically removed) but I felt I would have never had closure. I really hung on to this pregnancy a lot, and was in denial for awhile. I was even in denial when the Dr. told us there was no heartbeat. And even though what I went through at home was tragic, graphic and emotionally straining, I think it helped my husband and I find closure. If I had medication or a surgery to remove the baby I dont think it would have helped me at all.

Every person if different, and different things help us deal. See what you feel is the best for you. Right now you have to make yourself comfortable. I know right now it seems like everything is falling apart, but time will heal all your wounds.

Praying for you, and hoping you have a fast recovery. :-)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about everybody's losses, but it lets me know that I am not alone. 5 days ago, I had a miscarriage. I was about 9 weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, I was not with my husband but staying with my parents because my grampa had just passed away. I had been spotting but didn't think much about it since I spotted with my first pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. However, I woke in the middle of the night to find myself soaked in blood. I rushed to the bathroom and passed what was probably the baby. I had my mom stay with my son while my dad rushed me to the ER. Once there, I passed two more large blood clots and started bleeding heavily. After a blood test and ultrasound, it showed I had been pregnant but that my uterus is now empty. I was and am still so sad. My husband hopped on the next flight to be with me, but it was so emotionally straining without him. I was very thankful to fall into his arms that night. The cramping came that night and continued for a couple of days. The bleeding with more large clots was very heavy for 4 or 5 days but it is now letting up. I went to see my doctor the other day and thankfully I seem to be passing everything on my own. I am also very thankful to have my son. I feel like he is such a miracle now that I see how quickly a baby's life can be taken away. I want to try to have another baby at some point but I am so terrified I will have another miscarriage. I don't know what I would do if I had to experience this again. It is so hard yet I know I will try again. Again, thank you for all of your stories. It has truly helped reading them and sharing mine. It is hard to talk about it especially to people who haven't experienced it.

Tracy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Give your son a little extra hug tonight. Take the time to grieve and heal. Be good to yourself and know that you didn't do anything to cause it. Best wishes to you.

Tara said...

I m so sry about the things happened to u guys...i feel realy sad..i would never come to this site coz i have nothing to do with it...but just at the middle of the last month my mom got to know she is pregnant n i m really happy for her..i m doing all the things i never done before just to make her happy...i have my gcse's but i dont care about it anymore. anyway i visited this website just to know about miscarriages...my mom things that she has got period and she is only 8 or 9 weeks pregnant.. i m really tensed about her n that's why i was searching through. when i saw that it is normal to have bleeding and it's not period but spotting i was really relaxed but now reading all the incidents, i have some weird feeling...my mom has got her appointment tomorrow n i hope the best for her, n i m sry once again n hope that all of u recover from this pain of losing a child. i luv children anyway.

Tracy said...

Tara, I hope everything is okay with your mom and the baby. Bleeding/spotting can common during pregnancy. It's very sweet that you are doing research. Hopefully you have good news tomorrow. Update us if you can. We're thinking of you and your mom. hugs

Anonymous said...

I just had a m/c and was between 7-8 weeks. This was my husband and my first pregnancy. I started spotting light brown for about 2 weeks and then it turned into light red bleeding and I knew something was wrong. I went to the ER and was told I have what is called a threatend misscarriage. An ultrasound was done and I was told I was around 6 weeks and my husband and I even saw the flickering of the heartbeat. We were being very optimistic at this point. I was told to go home and have pelvic rest and to relax as much as I can. After my visit to the ER (5 days later) I started having light red blood and knew something was wrong. I demanded to be seen sooner than my prenatal first appointment. Well today I went in and had both a internal and external u/s and there was no sac. I started crying but I knew and felt something was just not right. As I'm laying on the couch now my bleeding has gotten heavier and I have had cramping. I was told by the doctor that I may need to come back in 10 days for a d&c. I have not really passed any huge clots though and am wondering of I will since I have been spotting and bleeding now for almost 3 weeks. This has been the hardest day. My 30th birthday is Friday and my family is visiting my husband and I this Thursday from Boston who we haven't seen since Christmas. It's just been an emotional roller coaster for the past week. We knew what a threatened misscarriage could lead to and we both tried so hard to make it work. I only hope we can try again in a few months and have a healthy pregnancy but I'm so scared of having another m/c. The hardest part is all my friends have just had babies and I think to myself what did I do wrong to have a m/c? Why me? Is there something wrong with me or my husband that this baby was not healthy? I keep asking myself question after question. Does GOD have a plan? Was this not our time? My husband and I keep saying why is life not fair to us. My husband was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at 7 and I lost my father when I was 9. This past year has been awful with losing family members etc.... We just want something to go right. Hopefully our time will come when we can have healthy babies.

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to all the women who have went through this emotional heartbreaking experience.
I was 9 weeks 3 days when we went in for our first prenatal appt. We were so excited after trying for so many years and finally being blessed with a surprise pregnancy. Going into the appt i was nervous for some reason my heart told me something was wrong. I had no symptoms. The dr was so happy we had conceived on our own knowing how long it took. He made a few jokes then started the transvaginal u/s i knew by the look on his face it wasnt good. He got quiet and said i see a pregnancy but im so sorry theres no heartbeat. I measured at 9wks. I had just lost my baby. I was devastated and could not hold back my tears i cried as he was telling me everything..my boyfriend held me. The dr asked if i wanted to see the baby..i could
nt..my boyfriend did. I still keep asking myself why did this happen to us. Did i do something wrong..i miss feeling the connection to my baby..my nausea..my tiredness..my crazy sense of smell and the major milk cravings i went through are all gone. I feel alone and heartbroken...i go in monday for my d&c after they confirmed hcg levels are dropping and having no signs of natural miscarriage i just want to move on..but i will be devastated after i leave the hospital knowing baby is truly gone. I hope in time we can be given a chance to have a healthy baby. I will always remember my angel and never forget this short time i was able to have our connection.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about what everyone has gone through. I'm currently in the process of a miscarriage. Today is Wednesday. Sunday night I began to bleed - first with a bit of red that immediately turned to brown spotting. I knew as soon as I saw it that something was wrong. My husband was positive that it was okay. Weird how us mom's just know, isn't it? The next morning I went to the doctor, who immediately scheduled an ultrasound and blood work. I went in yesterday. The ultrasound tech began with an outer ultrasound. She just kept saying, 'I can't really see anything. I can't see anything.' She then switched to a transvaginal and repeated the same thing. I knew right then that it was for sure. My baby hadn't grown. I was supposed to be 9 weeks. Yesterday evening the doctor called me in and told me baby was only as big as 6 weeks and there was no heart beat. My husband and I were devastated. I knew it all along, but it hurt more than I expected hearing it confirmed. Now I'm just waiting for it to happen. It's still hanging on. It's hard reading your stories about what it felt like and how traumatic it is. I already feel so upset, but waiting for it and knowing its coming is killing me. This will have been our first baby. Both of my sister-in-laws are due with their first baby in a few months. I'm so hurt and can't help but feel afraid of the actual miscarriage itself.