My baby weighs over one pound!

I had my 22 week follow up Level II ultrasound with the perinatologist today. Chris couldn't make the appointment because of work. I thought it would be fun for my friend, Bonnie, to come to the appointment.



We had to wait forever to get in to see the doctor. The waiting room was full which is unlike this doctor's office. I soon realized why it was so crowded. One girl brought her entire family and friends to the ultrasound. There were 4 other people with her!

Patches was kicking before the appointment started but he settled quietly in for the scan. I guess the sugar rush from the orange juice wore off! He's measuring a little ahead at 22 w 6 days instead of 22 w 1 day. His heart rate was 160 (maybe from the OJ?) so that again doesn't follow the old wives tale about high heart rates indicating girls.





They estimated the fetal weight to be 1 pound and 2 ounces. I was concerned that weight might be a little high from what I've read in the baby books but the doctor reassured me that it was completely normal. In fact Patches appears completely normal and healthy! Thank God.

Now for the pictures!

We got our first 3D picture of Patches. The tech couldn't get a real good view of him but you can see one of his arms up by his face and his nose and mouth pretty clearly. She told me that in 6-8 weeks the 3D would be closer to how he'd really look when he's born. Right now he doesn't have enough fat to fill out his skin so he's a little alien looking. But still cute in my opinion! :)

Here's a profile of Patches. His head is on the left and his little legs and feet are sticking up in the air. Probably getting ready to kick on mommy.

And just because Patches is an October baby, here's another face on shot where he looks like Skeletor. Tilt your head side ways. The top of his head is on the left and his eye sockets are above the bright spot which is his nose. His mouth is the black opening below that.

When we were looking at this angle, he opened his mouth really wide and then closed it like a yawn. It was super cute.

After the appointment, Bonnie and I went out to lunch before she had to get back to work. I cut one of the ultrasound pictures off the strip so she could take it with her. She usually sees Chris several times during the day so I knew she could give him the photo. I wanted him to get a surprise after a hard day's work and he'd have an excuse to show off his son! :)

I'm officially a midwife patient

I've been seeing an OB but he has two certified nurse mid wives in his practice. They can deliver babies too, just no c-sections.

I love my OB. He was great during my miscarriages and when I had cysts and abnormal pap smear scares. I'll probably still see him from time to time. He's very reassuring and doesn't really rush too much.

Donna (the midwife) can take a lot more time for the appointments and doesn't brush me off if I have concerns. My OB loves to quote statistics which I appreciate with my google MD (ha ha) but we all know that stats don't really mean what will happen to us as individuals. If it was so easy to be on the majority side, we'd never had one miscarriage let alone more. And we wouldn't have infertility problems etc. Some stats are comforting but some just aren't.

The first time I saw Donna for this pregnancy, she practically read my chart from front to back. I have a huge chart as you probably do too. My OB always says my chart looks beat up and the nurse just this week mentioned that I have a big chart. Anyway Donna caught things in my history that I didn't even know and things that I'm sure my OB would have missed.

One example was that I'm GBS positive. It was found in my last pregnancy during a urine analysis. They can assume that from time to time I'll have that bacteria again. It's not a big deal and is pretty common but will require an IV of antibiotics before delivery. They normally do a swab once or twice during pregnancy to check for the bacteria. The swab is pretty invasive. Some girls report that they swab not just vaginally but rectally too! Eww.

So Donna noticed that I already tested positive and told me to remind them so I wouldn't have to be swabbed for this pregnancy. They will just assume that I'm positive. Anyone that looks for a way to save me a poke and prod is my kind of person. ;)

I have no problem with a male doctor. Not at all. Again, I love my OB and Chris does too. But there's something comforting when talking to Donna. She has a little better edge. She's had three pregnancies. She has all the female parts that my male OB can only quote stats about.

I may try to go without an epidural for delivery. Donna will be more supportive of that and allow me more time to do my thing. I may end up with an epidural. I may end up with a c-section by my doctor. Who knows. But I'd like to see what happens.

Donna asked me several questions regarding my vitamins, breastfeeding, circumsion, and birthing classes. She gave me a run down of my coming up appointments. I go back in 4 weeks (week 25 of pregnancy) and then another 4 weeks (week 29) will be my glucose test. After that I will go to appointments every two weeks starting at week 31.

So I've officially switched from my OB to a midwife. I'm borderline crunchy. :)

Patches has stuff!

The first thing I received (and the only thing I got for Mother's Day!) was from Stephanie. It was very special that she sent me something. And I appreciate it even more so because of what she was going through herself. She sent me a cute Mother To Be card and a great story book for our baby. That was the first book we read out loud to Patches at bed time. Hey, the baby book said baby could hear by then!

At our big ultrasound at 18 weeks, we found out we were having a boy. So right after the doctor's appointment, we went shopping to celebrate. JCP had Carter's onsies on sale for $3 a piece. Here's a picture of the four that we bought that day. Patches has clothes! It's official, we're expecting to have a baby boy in October!

My new friend Jeanette,sent me some cute little things for Patches and a ton of maternity clothes. She said that she had one outfit and ended up sending two jackets, three shirts, two dresses, and a jean skirt! WOW! I was overwhelmed.

Jeanette sent a nice card, a Just Add Milk onsie, a cow finger puppet, a waterproof pad, and What To Expect The First Year. Everything was so cute perfect!

I'm very thankful of those things that have been sent to us. And most importantly for this little baby growing inside me.

The Big U/S: And it's a...

...healthy baby!

I'm 18 weeks and 1 day today and so far the baby looks perfect. The u/s tech was a sweet heart. She started off by asking that if she got a good shot did we want to know the sex of the baby. We laughed and looked at each other. It's been an on going debate. Do we want to know? Would a complete surprise be better? Or would knowing so we can buy gender specific clothing and nursery items be better? If we find out, are we going to keep it a secret from friends and family? We told her that we did want to find out. We decided to try to keep it a secret from family and friends. I'm not sure if we can do that or not! Chris isn't very good with secrets. :)

So then the u/s tech asked Chris what he thought the baby was. Chris has been saying girl all along. I went with that at first but the past month or so I've really thought it was a boy. So one of us was bound to be correct! The tech asked if we had any bets riding on the sex of the baby. Chris is a little gun shy on bets right now after losing two in a row. (Ask him about the words to Hang on Sloopy and what color Charlie Brown's shirt is. One of those got me a vacation in the Keys and one a dinner and I movie!) The tech tried to goad him into taking a bet but he wouldn't budge. She said that she would save that and tell us at the end of the scan.

The baby was sitting on it's bottom in a breach position. We didn't see the baby moving around so I didn't relax until she dopplered the heart. That's aways a sweet sound no matter how many times you've heard it. 143 bpm. That's about what I get at home, usually around 149 or so.

She started first by measuring the baby's brain, upper lip, and heart. The heart took some work to get a view of all four chambers because one of the baby's arm was creating a shadow. According to the tech, the baby had it's hands together like it was praying. I had trouble seeing that but I'll take her word for it. She tried all kinds of different angles and finally jiggled my tummy. She said, "Come on, baby, this is war!" We all started laughing. But I felt bad for the baby! If it was sleeping, who were we to disturb it?

She then checked both arms and legs, measuring the bones. She also checked to make sure the feet were straight. I'm glad she told us what she was looking at because most of the time I didn't have a clue. But I did catch a peak at what looked to be between the baby's legs. It pays to look at other people's ultrasound pictures online! I didn't say anything though because Chris was enjoying the show.

She checked the baby's stomach, kidneys, and bladder. Blood flow looked good. The baby measured normally at 8 ounces.

She then said that she'd get us some profile shots and the gender. She put it on 3d a few times but wasn't happy with the views. The baby isn't really filled out yet so she said it would look better in a few weeks. Chris was happy with one of the
3d pics but she questioned him and then didn't print it for us.

She gave us what she called the baby's first porno shot. I wasn't thrilled with her calling it that. But actually when people say money shot, it's also a porn reference. Yech.

Here's the pics! Can you tell what the baby is?

IT'S A BABY BOY!!

So then the doctor came in and reviewed the ultrasound pictures and we got another mini scan. This time the baby had flipped head down. How come the baby will never move on the screen? I had even drank some orange juice on the way down to the doctor's office. The doctor said the baby looked perfect! He didn't see any soft markers for genetic problems. Since I'm 37, he spoke to us about having the amnio.

According to the NT scan and bloodwork my risk for the baby having downs syndrome is 1 in 890. So that's good considering for my age the risk is 1 in 140.

According to my age the risk for having a baby with other genetic problems is 1 in 89. That's scary but it's still not that high, 1.1% chance. For 89 babies, 88 will be healthy.

The risk of miscarriage for the amnio is 1 in 200. If we had seen something that was a soft marker for a genetic defect, then we might have proceeded with an amnio. At this time, I don't see any reason to risk a potentially healthy baby to a miscarriage from the amnio. We wouldn't terminate the pregnancy any way. So the doctor had me sign my refusal to the amnio. He wasn't intimidating about it, just matter of fact. He did stress that at this time the baby showed no signs of any problems. So we're going with that!

I do have another Level II ultrasound scheduled with this same specialist in 4 weeks. The baby will of course be bigger then so a more thorough scan can be done. At 18 weeks today, it was still on the early side for the anatomy scan. So I get another treat at 22 weeks.

Crying and Laughing...

Tuesday I went in for the second blood draw for the integrated screening. Basically this combines the results of a first trimester blood draw, the NT scan, and another blood draw in the second trimester to provide the risks of several genetic defects. It's a screening, not a diagnostic test. It has a much lower false positive rate than just the blood draws separately. I felt this was a good initial step for us to take because at my "advanced maternal age" many go straight for the amnio. The amnio carries a risk of miscarriage (perhaps 1 in 200) which was something I would rather avoid after having lost two babies due to miscarriage.

After the blood draw, the nurse said she would be calling me with the results in 3-5 days. That made me nervous and excited all at once. Originally I was led to believe that I wouldn't get the final results until my big ultrasound and genetic counseling on 5/28. I worried that if I got the results early and they were bad, I would have to another 12 days of torture for my actual appointment and ultrasound. On the other hand, if the results were good I would have a little more peace of mind the next two weeks.

This morning was the third day after the blood draw. I was downstairs listening to the baby's heartbeat on the doppler.

I thought I heard my phone ringing upstairs over the whooshing of the baby's heartbeat. I RAN upstairs. I missed the call but it was just from my dermatologist. As I was listening to the voicemail, the phone rang again. This time it was from the perinatal center. Thank God I got the first call so the phone was in my hot little hands already. That was one phone call I wanted to take live and in person.


I'm crying and laughing and thanking God all at the same time!

The perinatal center had the integrated screening results. The baby is screening negative!



The risk for down's syndrome is 1 in 890.
For my age (37) the standard risk is 1 in 140 so we beat those odds!

For trisomy 18, the risk is 1 in 10,000.

For neural tube defect, the risk is 1 in 3,000.

I know it's not a guarantee but those are all good numbers for my age!!
They consider 1 in 300 a "positive" screen.

Woohoo! Thank God.

Now we'll see how the baby looks at the big anatomy scan on 5/28. I'm praying that there are no soft markers or other problems and we can be reassured that the baby is healthy.

I will soon be unemployed

And I guess it's a good thing. I'd rather keep working but my employer is unable to accommodate our need to work locally.

My husband and I drive a tractor trailer for a living. We have a scheduled run from south Florida to Atlanta five days a week. It's 7,000 miles of driving every week with no time off or at home. We're constantly moving.

My OB has been okay with me driving as long as I promised to get up and walk every two hours. Pregnancy is a state of hypercoagulation which means blood clots are more of a risk. Add that to me sitting 11 hours a day and you have a risky situation. My OB stressed this to me, reminding me of the NBC news correspondant, David Bloom, who died while riding along with an infantry division heading to Baghdad. I had just watched a television documentary on the initial days of the Iraq war and I remembered his story.

It's been a struggle to stop and walk every two hours because of the tight schedule we're required to keep. It's been more of a strain on Chris because he's had to do more of the physical work than before. He's also been driving a larger share of the miles because I'm so tired. Obviously we couldn't continue doing this job forever. Eventually we need to be home for the baby! We've been trying to ask for different jobs for over 8 months. For one reason or the other (all legitimate) our manager has asked us to continue to do the run until the timing is better. Well with the economy, the timing isn't going to get better for a long while.


After my 15th week OB appointment, we decided to speak with our terminal manager again. This time I needed a firm date to stop driving. I had hoped to get an office position. I had done that part time four years ago when I drove locally so I definitely had the experience. But did they have an opening?

So we had the sit down with our manager. He congratulated me when I told him I was pregnant and would need to stop driving that run soon. He of course figured something was up with all the doctor appointments that I had. I actually told him that I had two miscarriages over the last year for some reason. My voice broke! That's the first time I've told anyone out loud other than very close family. I just didn't want him to think I'm a sickly person and normally needs a lot of time off. That last year has been the exception for my normal attendance.

There's a hiring freeze right now that actually may last until the end of the year. He can't create an office job for me, said he was sorry to lose a good driver but with the economy as it is there's just nothing he could do. I understand that and expected it. May 31st is expected to be my last day.

As for Christopher, the manager has been trying to create a new nightly run for a while. He's going to work on that and try to get two city drivers to take over our run. So hopefully Chris will either have a night job driving about 430 miles or he'll work in the day making city deliveries. If they can't find someone to take the job from the city, then Chris may be out of the job too. The night job would pay better plus it's less physical work.

Chris told me that he didn't want me to work any where else so that's a relief in part. If he doesn't get to keep his job then that may change. Now we wait and see.

We're prepared financially. The plan is for me to be a Stay At Home Mom. I guess now I'll be a Stay At Home Baby Grower. It's still intimidating though to think that I won't have a job for much longer. I've been working since I was 15. I've never depended on anyone else. A baby brings big changes!

15 Week Appointment

TMI time.

At my initial OB intake appointment it was discovered that I had a bacterial infection. They didn't inform me of it until I made an appointment at 12 weeks. Normally they wait to treat this infection until the second trimester just to be safe. I got a one dose treatment but was advised to stop the progesterone suppositories cold turkey. That was my security blanket! I had planned to wean off the suppositories because I didn't want to see any spotting.

One in four pregnant women will get bacterial vaginosis so it's pretty common. It's actually more common than a yeast infection. BV carries an increased risk of miscarriage so I of course freaked out. I'm not really familiar with "normal" pregnancy discharge because I was on progesterone suppositories for the first 12 weeks. I started seeing more white discharge and worried that the infection was back. With the infection the first time, I had no red neon flashing sign symptoms which can also be common.

My OB thinks that I just have a yeast infection. I swear that man loves stats. "15-20% of women treated for bacterial vaginosis get a yeast infection afterwards" I told him I was concerned since BV is associated with a higher risk of miscarriage. He told me that didn't cause my other miscarriages. Sigh. I *know* that but I'm worried about THIS pregnancy. He reassured me that I can call him any time I have a question.

I asked him if they would measure my cervical length at the level II ultrasound at the genetic counselor's. He said they would, but how did I know about that. I told him too much time on the internet. :) I was a little concerned after having all the infertilty/Recurrent Pregnancy Loss testing procedures (SHG, HSG, EMB, IUI) in such a short time plus I've had cervical biopsies in the past for HPV. Then he tells me that cervical length didn't cause my other miscarriage either. Right, but about THIS pregnancy? He told me D&C are used for birth control in Russia and they don't have a higher rate of miscarriage so he doesn't feel that those procedures which dilate the cervix affect cervical length very much. Threw some more stats in. Mentioned that I can call him with questions again.

He used the doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat. He didn't tell me the heart beat rate today and for some reason I didn't ask. Chris and I just looked at each other like smiling fools while we listened. Then he measured the fundal height for the first time ever. I was nervous about how that would go down with me being overweight. He said it was *perfect.*

So far I've gained 4 lbs. I wish I'd kept it lower but I had a pig out week or two in between appointments that included McDonalds and donuts. I know I'm not eating for two but it's still nice to indulge in a craving as long as the weight is okay. My breasts could easily be those 4 pounds that I gained. Seriously, porn stars would be jealous that I got these big boobs for free. ;)

My OB was so nice and talked to us for a long time. Including about me still driving the truck. Mentioned I could call him any time at least twice more. LOL So it was a good appointment but I would have rather left with another RX for the bacterial infection just to be safe. My OB was really nice about it all but as soon as he left to look for samples of YI cream, I asked Chris if I really sounded like a paranoid freak.

I mean, I must sound like a paranoid freak or my OB has ESP because I THINK like a paranoid freak most of the time. FYI: Two miscarriages in a row will definitely put you on the paranoid side of the fence.

Big Milestone! NT Scan

This day has been a big worry for weeks. Time for the NT scan. And I had to do it all alone. Chris is 700 miles away. We said goodbye last night and I cried like it was going to be a month apart instead of 2 days. I really depend on his support. Chris told me it was in God's hands and we'll be okay. He's been through pretty much every medical fertility related procedure that I've had in the past year. And trust me, that's a lot of sitting up by my head time.

Is the baby going to still be alive? Is the baby still growing? Is the baby going to be healthy? Are we going to be the typical family of my dreams? Will they tell me the NT measurement? Will the measurement be normal? Will I get ultrasound pictures? (Not high on my priority list, but it was high on Christopher's since he couldn't be there.)

My OB sent me to a perinatal specialist for my Integrated Screening. This means that I will get a blood draw and ultrasound between 11-13 weeks. A second blood draw is taken during during weeks 16-18. Then all three results are combined (integrated!) and we get a final result. This screening has a 92% accuracy in detecting down's syndrome. The other trisomy disorders are slightly lower. It has a 5% false positive rate. If the risks come back high, then we may consider an amnio. I worry about the risk of miscarriage so we're going through this screening first.

Everyone at the perinatal office was nice. And of course the waiting room was full of couples. They took my blood first and the nurse explained the testing that I was getting. It's the integrated so I won't get any results until after the second blood draw at 16 weeks. I asked if I would get the NT measurement and she said no, but I would get u/s pictures today. (Chris would get to see too!)
That left me kind of sad that it would be such a long wait for any of the results. I thought maybe I could catch a glimpse of the measurements on the ultrasound monitor or just ask/beg/plead with the tech.

The u/s tech was a very sweet lady. My first external ultrasound. YAY! No dildo cam. AND they didn't make me go with a full bladder. Nice people, I tell ya.

My hope of seeing the measurement on the screen quickly vanished. The monitor for the mother was far away on the wall. Nice flat screen TV but it sucked for my spying efforts. I even wore my glasses instead of my contacts just so I could have a better chance to see the numbers. At that distance I would have needed binoculors.

She changed the views a couple of times. I saw the baby but I didn't see any movement. I was getting ready to ask if the baby was alive. She probably would have thought I was crazy. Then she let me listen to the heartbeat! What a relief. I should have ate some breakfast. Maybe the baby needed some sugar to get moving.

I got to see all the body parts and she told me everything that we were looking at. Little arms and legs, the stomach, the spine. She showed me one of the hands as it was up in the air waving at us!

At the end she told me everything looked great for 12 weeks. She still had the measurement screen up and I asked her what the NT measurement was. She pointed it out and said 1.43 was great. They look for under 3. Whew! I didn't have to beg, cry, or get angry to get the results. I wanted to hug her!


I couldn't even wait until I was out of the office building before calling Chris. As soon as I hit the hallway, I hit speed dial. "Patches is doing great!"


The baby measured 12 weeks 2 days with a 157 HB. I should be 12 weeks 3 days so the baby is measuring pretty close. I have a face on skeltor pic and one decent side profile view. It's not as clear as what we saw on the screen though. But it's a baby!

Profile

Heart beat and profile of baby

Skeletor Patches ready for Halloween!

I love my OB but..

I think I really really love the CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) that works with my OB. Wow. She totally impressed me today with the amount of time she spent with me.
First the nurse just took my weight and blood pressure. The nurse didn't pre-interview me at all. You mean I don't have to tell my story twice? Nice.

Donna (CNM)came in and was very pleasant and asked how I was doing. She mentioned that it had been a long time since she'd seen me and acted very glad that I was back. She started paging through my chart, taking the time to completely read the letter of transfer of care from my RE. She asked if I was still on the progesterone suppositories. Donna paged back several years in my chart. She asked me how many ultrasounds that I'd had. With this pregnancy just 4 at that time. She's like no, how many over all? I told her too many of just my ovaries before I got pregnant!

She told me that I wouldn't need the GBS culture during this pregnancy because I'd tested positive for it at a urine screen last year. First I ever heard of it. Now I have a feeling that's something that would have been normally over looked and later I would have been swabbed in places that I'd rather not.

She found the heart beat on the doppler and let me listen to it for a minute. She said there's something wonderful about hearing that sound for the first time. I have to agree!

She answered all my questions and listened to my concerns. She explained my next several appointments with the perinatal specialists and told me what to make sure I got scheduled for. Donna told me it was time to stop my progesterone supplements. That's a big step! No more security blanket.

When she was finished, she made the copy of my prescription herself so I didn't have to wait in line at the front desk check out. She told me that she was very happy that this pregnancy was working out for me. I could tell that it was a very genuine sentiment. Love her!

So now the decision. OB or CNM?

I've always tried to go out of my way to schedule all my appointments with the OB. I have a lot of confidence in him and he's always taken time to answer my questions and be reassuring. He got me through two rounds of cervical displasia and ovarian cysts that hung around for 8 plus months. He's extremely well respected in the community. He's the OB that other doctors send their wives to.

The amount of time that Donna spent with me just blew me away though. I think she would be very supportive of an unmedicated birth which is what I would like to try. I think she would be willing to give me time to do my own thing and not be in a rush to medically interfere.

I think I'm going to switch my next regularly scheduled appointment to Donna. I'd like Chris to meet her too. Chris really liked my OB so we'll see how he feels about Donna. I'll probably go back and forth a little. But I think Donna maybe my main practioner. The office is connected to the hospital that I'll deliver at so both the OB and the CNM are close at hand. The only big difference is that the OB can do c-sections while the CNM can only do vaginal deliveries.

Wow. I'm actually thinking like this pregnancy is going to work out and we'll have a baby in October. Amazing.

3 out of 3 plus a scare!

Leading up to today, I've have my share of nervous thoughts. I started bleeing with my first pregnancy at 8 weeks 5 days and lost it at exactly 9 weeks.

Today with my third pregnancy I'm 8 weeks and 6 days.

I had a huge, terrifying scare this morning. I touched my cervix when I was inserting the progesterone suppository. Big gush of blood. :( I tried to rationalize it by thinking that my cervix is extra sensitive because of the pregnancy and the progesterone adds to that. But, seriously. It was a lot of blood. Bright, bright red. Not what you want to see any time when pregnant let alone after having two miscarriages.

It was awful. I continued spotting all morning.

I didn't want to tell Christopher about the spotting right away. Instead I went to my acupuncture appointment and tried to take it easy. When I returned home I folded some laundry while sitting on the couch. We had about 30 minutes before it was time to leave for the RE appointment. Chris asked me what was wrong. He's pretty dang perceptive that husband of mine, because I was trying to keep the brave face on. So I told him about the bleeding.

We had a normal ride down to the RE's office. We got into the parking lot and sat in the car for a few minutes. All of a sudden Chris started digging in the center console for napkins. Big fat tears are just rolling down his face and he tried to wipe them away with the napkin. I had been holding my own until that moment. It reminded me all too well of the time when I miscarried the first time. We knew it was over at that time and he cried a few tears. It was so heartbreaking back then to see this big strong husband of mine cry over losing our baby. It was no less heartbreaking today. I didn't want to do this to my husband again. I did not want to lose this baby and relive all that agony. We both ended up wiping away tears, fearing the worst.


The doctor entered the room and asked me how I was doing. Before I could even answer, she asks why I'm always so down looking at the start of each u/s appointment. She really must not have a lot of RPL patients. This is nerve wracking, lady! Once you have lost your pregnancy innocence nothing is taken for granted.

I told her about the bleeding and she asked a few questions before starting the u/s.
She immediately showed me the baby's heartbeat. She took a few measurements: crown to rump is measuring 8 weeks 6 days (exactly as it should!) and the heartbeat was up to 165.





I asked her if she could tell where the placenta was. She changed settings and measured my cervix first. It was a normal length. Then she pointed out vascular areas on top of the cervix where the placenta was partially covering it. Cause of bleeding found!

It's still early enough that the placenta will probably migrate upward as the uterus grows. It's definitely something that we'll keep an eye on as it can be extremely dangerous.

I was told to discontinue the baby aspirin as that could be contributing to the bleeding. I'm also on pelvic rest until the placenta moves up. No problem. The progesterone suppositories aren't doing much for our sex life for either one of us.

But the baby is doing fine! Perfect in fact! It's still scary and it's still early yet.

I'm very thankful to God for this miracle.

From there we went to my first OB appointment. It was so nice to walk in there with some confidence and hope. The last few times I was there it was after miscarriage #1and #2.


We spent quite some time in my OB's office discussing my treatment and the crazy cycle that I had when I got pregnant. Thankfully the RE had given me the betas and Chart Summary (including the u/s measurements) so my OB could use those to date my pregnancy. I was dreading going through that since my LMP puts me 2 weeks ahead. I officially have a 10.28.08 due date. Give or take two weeks either way. ;)
Gosh, I actually think we may make it!

I had an internal exam and pap. The doctor asked for two of those huge medical cotton swabs from the nurse. He told me I did have some bleeding and he needed to clear it away. Otherwise my cervix was okay.

As the nurse was cleaning things up, she opened the medical waste can. On top were the cotton swabs just drenched in blood. Ugh. I said something about it and the doctor said he didn't want me to see those!

Since I had the bleeding, my OB wants to see me in two weeks. I'll be 11 weeks. We're going to try the doppler but I really don't see it picking up the heartbeat with my extra curves and tilted uterus. He said we'd do an u/s if necessary.
I'm going to ask if we can start with the doppler in the u/s room!

Oh well, at least it's not too long of a wait until my next OB appointment. I was so spoiled with the weekly u/s at the RE.

Baby is good. And for now, so am I. :)

2 out of 3...

2 out of 3 ultrasounds completed. I had my second ultrasound today and everything was great. One more ultrasound to go and I graduate from the RE's office to my OB's care.

I'm officially 7 weeks and 6 days. The baby measured 7 weeks and 5 days. That's pretty close. I'm trying to reassure myself that this wasn't NASA measuring the baby or a team of surveyors. This is just one doctor picking a spot on the crown and another spot on the rump to measure. Hopefully the baby will keep growing at a good rate.

The heart looked absolutely huge today. It measured 157 beats per minute.

The first picture shows the doctor measuring the heartbeat. The second and third show a profile of the baby.



The baby's head is still a little pointy but that's normal for this stage. It will start looking more like a baby soon!
Pregnancy Week by Week: Week 7
Pregnancy Week by Week: Week 8

I asked the RE about continuing the estrogen patches. I was thinking she would tell me to continue them until 12 weeks just like the progesterone supplements.
She said that my level was high enough and I could discontinue their use. Great. This is after I just refilled another month's supply of them last week after her nurse told me to continue all medicines based on my estrogen and progesterone blood tests.
I think I'll continue them until Sunday as a compromise to my sanity just in case the baby needs a little more help. The doctor said they noticed an increased rate of miscarriage when the estrogen level was under 250 during week 4-6. I questioned her about remaining on it until 12 weeks and she said that was really only for IVF where everything is artificially controlled.
My level was only 97 before the supplements. After being on the supplements for 2 days, the level was 237. Last week it was 817. So it has definitely gone up someon its own. I would feel better if it was over a 1000. But she's the doctor with the degree. All I have is google and it's difficult to get a clear answer.


This rest is just cutesy stuff. Don't read it if you're not up to it.

After we got home, I told Chris it looked like a shrimp. He said, "Don't call my child a shrimp!"
A few days earlier, I asked Chris what we should call the baby. You know, instead of "the baby" all the time. He came up with Patches in honor of the estrogen patches that are glued to my tummy. LOL Silly, I know!
We never named the previous pregnancies. I'm thinking we have a little more hope this time around.

Pregnancy: Take 3, Scene 4: Ultrasound

We had our first ultrasound this morning. I was so nervous and scared I could hardly relax enough to empty my bladder prior to the ultrasound.
The doctor came in for the ultrasound and asked how I was doing. All I could do was shrug and try not to cry. She asked me what was wrong so I told her that I was concerned about the egg quality because of the crazy cycle. She told me not to worry about things that are out of my control. How easy for her to say, right?

In went the dildo cam:



She started off by showing us the pregnancy. It's the blog thing on the left side. In the top photo you can barely see two white plus signs that mark the crown to rump measurements.) I'm looking for a flicker, where's the baby's heartbeat? She then points out the sac and the yolk. (Do I see a flicker? Could it be, could it be?) Then she points to the fetal pole and then finally to the flickering heart beat!

We have a baby with a heart beat! Thank God, thank God, thank God!
It was absolutely awesome. The baby measures perfectly at exactly 6 weeks and 6 days. She turned up the sound and we got to hear the baby's heart beat. It was 120 beats per minute.

Chris had the biggest smile on his face. I was pretty much dumbfounded. I had gone in expecting the worst because my symptoms had been pretty minor and I'd had spotting over the weekend. What a turn around.

Because of my history of miscarriages, I'll have ultrasounds on the next two Mondays. If God forbid something goes wrong, the doctor said she wanted to know right away. After those two u/s we'll be released to my OB's care and the risk of miscarriage will go down significantly.

I can't wait!

How I'm getting through this 2WW

This 2 Week Wait is the time from my last beta to my first ultrasound. I have no bloodwork to help me get through this time.

It's stressful. Pregnancy is supposed to a joyous time. But after miscarriage it's not so easy to get through these early days. I suppose it's not easy to get through any of the 9 months until I bring a baby home in my arms.

I'm trying to stay positive. Whenever a negative thought creeps into my mind I try to immediately replace it with a positive.

I've been having a lot of trouble with cramps. And with the lack of them. Everyone knows cramping is a sign of a growing pregnancy as the uterus stretches. Everyone that has had a miscarriage also knows that cramping is a sign of pregnancy that is about to end.

Last Sunday I had a lot of cramping. That was scary because I kept comparing them to the cramps of my miscarriages and of my period starting.
Upon message board advice I drank some more water and rested.

My cramping pretty much went away from Wednesday to Friday. That was scary because all I could think was that the pregnancy stopped growing.

Here's what I'm trying to remember:


Pregnancy symptoms are different from person to person.
Pregnancy symptoms are different from pregnancy to pregnancy.
Pregnancy symptoms are different from day to day.

Some wonderful ladies have written emails encouraging me.

I pulled these gems from some of the emails:

"This is God's baby and God's baby alone, whatever happens is in His hands"

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God"

"This could be my last pregnancy, so I need to enjoy every minute of it."




The following mantras are taken from the Success After a Loss Board to help those newly pregnant after a miscarriage.

"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

"I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."

"My past does not dictate my future. A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage."

"Just because something sad is happening to another, it does not mean it will happen to you." We all know miscarriage is not contagious!


And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a miscarriage. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."