Pregnancy: Take 3

I really hope this one does take.

I went dress shopping for the funeral I had to attend. Of course the nurse called with my blood work results while I was in the fitting room. The poor lady next door got an earful. I had no shame.

The first thing the out of the nurse's mouth was, "Congratulations, you're pregnant!"


I'm so rude. I brushed that aside, didn't even acknowledge that she said anything. I asked for the numbers.



My beta on Monday morning was 53 at 13 DPO. I told her that seemed low. She reassured me that they were happy with it based on how early it was.

Actually it's not too bad. I would have loved to see it over 100 but hey it's in the range of normal.

My progesterone was *only* 24.8 while being supplemented. I'm definitely not thrilled with this number although I know it's a totally good level. But in my first pregnancy and the first cycle on Clomid, my progesterone levels were close to 40.

For the first time other than a CD 3 level, they checked my estrogen. It was only a 97. The nurse said it was a little low. She said that the RE would review the numbers and I would get a call back if she decided to supplement the estrogen too.

I didn't think to ask what a normal E2 level was. She caught me off guard with that. I know the beta ranges and progesterone but what do I know about estrogen? Nada. It surges briefly at ovulation and then raises quickly during early pregnancy. By googling I found that bythe 5th week of pregnancy it's commonly above 500. That makes my 97 sound puny.

I begged the nurse for supplements. I told her that I had been spotting all month from the progestin and was worried my lining wasn't thick enough.

Finally I got the call back. The RE said that this early there's no "normal" estrogen value but based on my history she would order me estrogen patches. YES! Maybe this baby has a chance. Normally she would not supplement any other patient with a 97 estrogen level. This was sounded quite different from the initial call from the nurse but I'll take it!

I started the estrogen patches on Monday night. Apparently I'm on a double dose as my insurance would only pay for one box. We'll have to work on that.

Of course the estrogen packaging and literature are covered with warnings not to use the patches if you're pregnant or could soon become pregnant.

Oh, and it can cause cancer too. Yeah, I begged for this.

So today I'm pregnant. I'm trying to be hopeful despite how crazy of a cycle this was. It was far from perfect with a late ovulation on CD 30 after 21 days of progestin to suppress my ovaries. But this is what we got. The doctor told us to have timed intercourse after catching my ovulation via ultrasound and bloodwork. And so we listened. And here we are.

Next beta is Wednesday morning.

40 days and 40 nights

After 40 days, which included 21 days of progestin hell, 4 transvaginal u/s, 9 cysts, spotting and bleeding every couple of days, and a two vials of blood, it's finally over.
TCOYF Chart

Today is officially CD 1. We can begin a new cycle!


I've been having a great internal debate about what to do this cycle. Do we try on our own with an unmedicated cyle or should I push for Femara?

I'm having all the bad side effects from Clomid. My CM is hostile which forces us to do IUI instead of the much cheaper timed intercourse. I ovulated early the second cycle of Clomid and had a thin uterine lining on CD 11. And I'm experience ovarian disfunction by the way of 9 monster ovarian cysts.

Add those side effects to the fact that we're having trouble taking off so much work for the monitoring and IUI appointments, and I think we have a good case to switch to Femara.
Femara doesn't cause hostile CM or thining of the uterine lining. Hopefully I won't get the cysts either. With Femara, we shouldn't need IUI so that will save us time and money!


Reasons for TTC unmedicated this cycle:

We have a funeral to attend for a cousin that was like a brother to my husband. Chris is understandably off his game from Al's unexpected death. He doesn't need any additional stress right now.

This would give the acupuncture time to work.

I wouldn't have to worry about days off for doctor's appointments.

I could get back my diet in earnest.

Waiting could mean that the next medicated cycle might be when I have a less stressful job that doesn't require travel.


Reasons to TTC with Femara this cycle:

I'm losing approx 10,000 eggs a cycle with an already suspect ovarian reserve.

My EDD for the previous m/c and the chances for a 2008 baby are flying by.

I'm tired of TTC with ill timed procdures and only getting cysts.

Maybe they would let us just have Timed Intercourse instead of IUI.

I wanted a baby 4 years ago. I really, really wanted a baby when we started TTC a year ago. I really, really, really wanted a baby on my EDD of 1/28/08. And I really, really, really, really want a baby NOW! (Yeah, minor tantrum. Sorry)


I think the reasons to wait, out weigh the reasons to push for Femara this cycle. The big reason is Christopher's grieving for his cousin. He doesn't need the extra pressure to perform for the sake of a medicated cycle. This will give us both some breathing room free of tests and procedures.

We'll probably just try on our own this cycle. That's probably best. Right? I'm so torn.

I scheduled the baseline u/s for Monday. Hopefully I don't have any more left over cysts. I'm feeling a little crampy so it's entirely possible that some are still there. We'll have to make the decision to TTC on our own or go on a medicine to suppress my ovary function again. I know which way I'm voting! I'll also pitch my idea of switching to Femara for the next cycle. Wish me luck. :)

I'm so sad.

I just feel so sad and frustrated. It's like we haven't had a real chance to TTC since my second m/c in August.

The first cycle, the IUI was ill timed because of the PCT.

Second cycle I ovulated way early and we only had sex on the day of ovulation.

And then the third cycle, I had the 9 cysts and was on a medicine that was supposed to suppress ovulation and bring on a period. Well my stupid body, decides to disobey doctor's orders and ovulate on CD 30! So now we didn't have well timed intercourse because I was bleeding from the progestin and my egg quality probably sucks from it being so late in my cycle.

I'm not very hopeful that I could be pregnant with the late ovulation and the fact that we only had sex on Monday and Tuesday.

There's always the chance though. And technically my ovaries were suppressed for 21 days. I know the follicle didn't grow until last week because of the two u/s. Stupid body couldn't just sit out the cycle like the doctor wanted, had to bust a move to ovulate.

I just spent way too much time playing with TCOYF and FF. Neither one wants to give me cross hairs no matter what info I took out or put in. I tried taking out the spotting since it was caused by the progestin and it still wasn't happy. I think the long cycle just blows their mind.

TCOYF Chart

Fertility Friend


TCOYF is setting my coverline super high for some reason. I see 3-4 good high temps. I really dislike it right now but I have a feeling it's correct. When I first entered in my info, it forecasted my period to start today. Well, I'm spotting bright red and have achy ovaries. Maybe the progestin withdraw finally kicked in. I don't know what I changed but now it's forecasting my period for Tuesday.

But the more I sit here, the more it feels like I'm having AF cramps.

Please dear God, give me a normal cycle. Without cysts would be a nice bonus.

I'm close to asking about trying Femara instead of Clomid. Wonder if we could do TI instead of IUI because the CM isn't supposed to be affected. That would help with my days off work for monitoring.

Most days I just want to cry. Oh, hell. I might as well cry. Maybe I'll feel better

I'm doing WHAT, now?

I'm so frustrated with my body, with Clomid, the 9 freaking cysts, and with the damn progestin.

I stopped the progestin (oral progesterone) last week. It's similar to taking provera to start your period. I was taking the progestin to suppress my ovary function.

I started heavy bleeding late Friday night. By Saturday it had slowed down to spotting. Today nothing was really going on but I went ahead to my CD 3 u/s. The nurse said that could be "normal" for my period because of the progestin and that I've been spotting all month.

My right ovary is perfect. the two smaller cysts are gone. Great news!

Leftie is still causing problems. I still had the 28 mm cyst and the 14 mm cyst grew to 20 mm. Bad news. Those puppies are supposed to be going away!

They took my blood to see if it was a a functioning cyst. Yep, the dang thing is a follicle. My estrogen was too high for CD 3. Mine came back at 486 and normal for CD 3 is less than 40. The bleeding was probably just withdraw bleeding from the drop in progesterone.

So they think I'm ovulating! Their advice is to have sex every other day.
Yay if it wasn't CD 2freaking8.

Then I'm to come back when my period starts. The nurse didn't even have the tact to say IF my period starts.


I probably missed the ovulation window but I'm going to use an OPK later. I had my normal crampiness and sore breasts starting yesterday and just thought it was AF symptoms. I probably missed the egg already. I didn't catch how thick my lining was this morning on the u/s so who knows if pregnancy is even possible.

Another wasted cycle I have a feeling.

Oh, and for kicks I had an acupuncture session this afternoon and told him it was CD 3. They do different acu points at various times in my cycle. So who knows WTF that did.

This isn't working

The two Clomid cycles have been a waste.

The first cycle the IUI was 48 hours post trigger because we did a Post Coital Test at 24 hours. Awful timing. A single IUI should be at 36 hours post trigger shot. So not much chance of that one working from the get go after the failed PCT.

The second Clomid cycle it looks like I ovulated on CD 10 based on when my period started. I didn't start using OPK that cycle until after my u/s on CD 11. My nurse had assured me that it wasn't neccessary. Of course I kicked myself for not starting it sooner. We didn't even have sex until CD 10 that cycle. My lining was thin on CD 11 so there probably wasn't a chance even if we'd had timed intercourse before. Then I ended up with 9 cysts on my ovaries which required us to take a break cycle. After enduring the progestin hell, I'm taking stock of our situation.

So, the two medicated cycles have been a big bust. That's three wasted cycles.

We TTC on our own, for three unmedicated cycles and got pregnant twice. And miscarried twice of course.

So the score is:

Medicated cycles: 0-3
Unmedicated cycles: 2-3

Hmmm? Yeah. It's like that.


We both work for the same company and I feel like we've burned up some of their good graces by all the days we've already asked off for testing and procedures. We travel for work and a doctor appointment requires a complete day off.


There's been 5 firings in the past two days so I'm afraid to push our luck and jeopardize our jobs right now by asking for 2-3 days off for monitoring and IUI. Since they want to start doing follicle checks on CD 8 because of my early ovulation on Clomid, it might take two appointments before I could trigger. Then a third day would be required for the IUI. It's just getting too stressful right now.


I'm leaning towards taking a cycle or two off to TTC on our own without Clomid or IUI. There's no medical reason that we can't. It's only my age and thus questionable eggs that are bad quality which could be the reason for the miscarriages. But my hormones and his sperm are all normal.

TTC on our own with just the CBEFM and some Presed will reduce the stress level by 90%. It will also give me time to allow the accupunture to work. I have my first appointment on Monday!

Then we can do another cycle or two of Clomid/IUI before starting injectibles. That would be around May. We plan to stop traveling in May. I may have a different job by then.

Before we do injects, I would need to be home any way because the monitoring is a lot more often. I think you almost have to go every other day as they change your injectible dosage.

So we're going back to basics. I would be thrilled to death if I got pregnant again with a sticky baby. Of course the second I get pregnant again, I'll be scared to death. But I'd rather be pregnant and scared than unpregnant without hope.

I have a baseline u/s on Monday. I'm going to spring our plan on my nurse and see what she has to say.

And the cyst saga continues...

I had my third u/s this morning for the cysts that are preventing us from TTC.

I still have 4 cysts ranging from 11 to 28 mm. It's actually a big improvement considering I started with 9 monsters. The only one that is really holding me back right now is a 28 mm. I can finally stop taking the oral progestin that has just made the last three weeks miserable.


My physical activity restrictions are lifted also. My husband still probably won't let me do any crazy lifting or work. He acts like my insides will bust out if I'm not careful.

It's funny how you always want what you can't have. Most of the time I'm rather blah about having sex unless it's sex week and we're trying to make a baby! But this past weekend I wanted to get it on so bad but I was still on restricted activity. Chris the ever safe one didn't want to break the rules. Maybe I should have gotten him drunk...

I'm going AMA (Against Medical Advice instead of the normal Advanced Maternal Age) and taking one more progestin pill and then waiting my period to show. The nurse said it should start in a few days from the drop in progesterone. We'll see how my timing works out. Hopefully my period will start between Thursday-Sunday so I don't have to miss a complete day of work for the baseline u/s. Traveling for work and under going fertility treatments is so stressful.

After my period, I'll go in for another baseline u/s (they let me come in CD 2-5) and then hopefully back on Clomid.
The nurse and doctor sounded a lot more positive that I would be taking Clomid this cycle than what I would have thought! So I hope they are right. They may be a little more lenient than what I've read. Some doctors have a cut off of 10 mm for cysts to start a medicated cycle. I had an 11 the second Clomid cycle that they approved any way.


I'm not doing too bad today. It's the EDD from my first pregnancy. I think the days leading up to today were worse than the actual day. Hopefully the free diapers and formula boxes will stop showing up in the mail soon.

Now I need AF dust. Specifically CD 1 Thursday to Sunday AF dust. :)



And here's a listing for those interested in the numbers.

Ultrasound on 1/28:

Left Ovary:

28 mm
14 mm
11 mm


Right Ovary:

14 mm


Ultrasound on 1/21:

Left Ovary:
35 mm
25 mm
23 mm
20 mm


Right Ovary:
28 mm
20 mm




Ultrasound on 1/7:

Left Ovary:

46 mm
37 mm
34 mm
33 mm
32 mm


Right Ovary:

38 mm
25 mm
21 mm
21 mm

They are down but not completely out

I had my two week follow up ultrasound appointment today.

On 1/7, I had 9 cysts ranging in size from 21 to 46 mm.

Today I had only 6 cysts ranging in size from 20 to 35 mm.

I didn't expect them to be completely gone since I was still feeling cysty. It's good to see that 3 got their walking papers and the other 6 are reducing in size.

My nurse gave me another two week prescription of the oral progestin (chemical progesterone). My next ultrasound is only a week away on 1/28. I doubt if the cysts will be completely gone by then. So I do expect to continue the progestin for the second week.

That would be a grand total of 4 weeks on this energy sapping prescription. That's the worse side effect so I really can't complain too much. I've been getting extremely tired and sleeping close to 12 hours isn't unheard of. Another way infertilty steals and consumes your life I guess. There's worse things than requiring a lot of sleep so I'll try not to complain. I just don't think my husband understands it though. He tries.

I'm still on restricted physical activity (no exercise, heavy lifting, or sex) because of the size and weight of my ovaries. The right one isn't too bad at all but lefty is still on the FAT side!

Overall I'm okay with everything. I expected it to take one to two cycles for the cysts to go away. I've made some progress so that's all I'm going to focus on. I'm trying not to think about how soon we'll be able to TTC or what EDD for 2008 are slipping by.

Speaking of EDD... 01/28/08 was the EDD of my first pregnancy. Most of the time the fact that it's approaching doesn't bother me. I've gotten all the newborn diapers and formula in the mail that I can handle though. ;)

I'll probably schedule a private cry on 1/28.


I find keeping track of my follicle sizes and cysts gives me something concrete to hold on to. If the nurse had only told me they were smaller, I would forever keep wondering how much smaller? Are they a lot smaller or just a little smaller?

Here's a listing for those interested in the numbers.

Ultrasound on 1/21:

Left Ovary:
35 mm
25 mm
23 mm
20 mm


Right Ovary:
28 mm
20 mm




Ultrasound on 1/7:

Left Ovary:
46 mm
37 mm
34 mm
33 mm
32 mm


Right Ovary:
38 mm
25 mm
21 mm
21 mm