3 out of 3 plus a scare!

Leading up to today, I've have my share of nervous thoughts. I started bleeing with my first pregnancy at 8 weeks 5 days and lost it at exactly 9 weeks.

Today with my third pregnancy I'm 8 weeks and 6 days.

I had a huge, terrifying scare this morning. I touched my cervix when I was inserting the progesterone suppository. Big gush of blood. :( I tried to rationalize it by thinking that my cervix is extra sensitive because of the pregnancy and the progesterone adds to that. But, seriously. It was a lot of blood. Bright, bright red. Not what you want to see any time when pregnant let alone after having two miscarriages.

It was awful. I continued spotting all morning.

I didn't want to tell Christopher about the spotting right away. Instead I went to my acupuncture appointment and tried to take it easy. When I returned home I folded some laundry while sitting on the couch. We had about 30 minutes before it was time to leave for the RE appointment. Chris asked me what was wrong. He's pretty dang perceptive that husband of mine, because I was trying to keep the brave face on. So I told him about the bleeding.

We had a normal ride down to the RE's office. We got into the parking lot and sat in the car for a few minutes. All of a sudden Chris started digging in the center console for napkins. Big fat tears are just rolling down his face and he tried to wipe them away with the napkin. I had been holding my own until that moment. It reminded me all too well of the time when I miscarried the first time. We knew it was over at that time and he cried a few tears. It was so heartbreaking back then to see this big strong husband of mine cry over losing our baby. It was no less heartbreaking today. I didn't want to do this to my husband again. I did not want to lose this baby and relive all that agony. We both ended up wiping away tears, fearing the worst.


The doctor entered the room and asked me how I was doing. Before I could even answer, she asks why I'm always so down looking at the start of each u/s appointment. She really must not have a lot of RPL patients. This is nerve wracking, lady! Once you have lost your pregnancy innocence nothing is taken for granted.

I told her about the bleeding and she asked a few questions before starting the u/s.
She immediately showed me the baby's heartbeat. She took a few measurements: crown to rump is measuring 8 weeks 6 days (exactly as it should!) and the heartbeat was up to 165.





I asked her if she could tell where the placenta was. She changed settings and measured my cervix first. It was a normal length. Then she pointed out vascular areas on top of the cervix where the placenta was partially covering it. Cause of bleeding found!

It's still early enough that the placenta will probably migrate upward as the uterus grows. It's definitely something that we'll keep an eye on as it can be extremely dangerous.

I was told to discontinue the baby aspirin as that could be contributing to the bleeding. I'm also on pelvic rest until the placenta moves up. No problem. The progesterone suppositories aren't doing much for our sex life for either one of us.

But the baby is doing fine! Perfect in fact! It's still scary and it's still early yet.

I'm very thankful to God for this miracle.

From there we went to my first OB appointment. It was so nice to walk in there with some confidence and hope. The last few times I was there it was after miscarriage #1and #2.


We spent quite some time in my OB's office discussing my treatment and the crazy cycle that I had when I got pregnant. Thankfully the RE had given me the betas and Chart Summary (including the u/s measurements) so my OB could use those to date my pregnancy. I was dreading going through that since my LMP puts me 2 weeks ahead. I officially have a 10.28.08 due date. Give or take two weeks either way. ;)
Gosh, I actually think we may make it!

I had an internal exam and pap. The doctor asked for two of those huge medical cotton swabs from the nurse. He told me I did have some bleeding and he needed to clear it away. Otherwise my cervix was okay.

As the nurse was cleaning things up, she opened the medical waste can. On top were the cotton swabs just drenched in blood. Ugh. I said something about it and the doctor said he didn't want me to see those!

Since I had the bleeding, my OB wants to see me in two weeks. I'll be 11 weeks. We're going to try the doppler but I really don't see it picking up the heartbeat with my extra curves and tilted uterus. He said we'd do an u/s if necessary.
I'm going to ask if we can start with the doppler in the u/s room!

Oh well, at least it's not too long of a wait until my next OB appointment. I was so spoiled with the weekly u/s at the RE.

Baby is good. And for now, so am I. :)

Pregnancy: Take 3

I really hope this one does take.

I went dress shopping for the funeral I had to attend. Of course the nurse called with my blood work results while I was in the fitting room. The poor lady next door got an earful. I had no shame.

The first thing the out of the nurse's mouth was, "Congratulations, you're pregnant!"


I'm so rude. I brushed that aside, didn't even acknowledge that she said anything. I asked for the numbers.



My beta on Monday morning was 53 at 13 DPO. I told her that seemed low. She reassured me that they were happy with it based on how early it was.

Actually it's not too bad. I would have loved to see it over 100 but hey it's in the range of normal.

My progesterone was *only* 24.8 while being supplemented. I'm definitely not thrilled with this number although I know it's a totally good level. But in my first pregnancy and the first cycle on Clomid, my progesterone levels were close to 40.

For the first time other than a CD 3 level, they checked my estrogen. It was only a 97. The nurse said it was a little low. She said that the RE would review the numbers and I would get a call back if she decided to supplement the estrogen too.

I didn't think to ask what a normal E2 level was. She caught me off guard with that. I know the beta ranges and progesterone but what do I know about estrogen? Nada. It surges briefly at ovulation and then raises quickly during early pregnancy. By googling I found that bythe 5th week of pregnancy it's commonly above 500. That makes my 97 sound puny.

I begged the nurse for supplements. I told her that I had been spotting all month from the progestin and was worried my lining wasn't thick enough.

Finally I got the call back. The RE said that this early there's no "normal" estrogen value but based on my history she would order me estrogen patches. YES! Maybe this baby has a chance. Normally she would not supplement any other patient with a 97 estrogen level. This was sounded quite different from the initial call from the nurse but I'll take it!

I started the estrogen patches on Monday night. Apparently I'm on a double dose as my insurance would only pay for one box. We'll have to work on that.

Of course the estrogen packaging and literature are covered with warnings not to use the patches if you're pregnant or could soon become pregnant.

Oh, and it can cause cancer too. Yeah, I begged for this.

So today I'm pregnant. I'm trying to be hopeful despite how crazy of a cycle this was. It was far from perfect with a late ovulation on CD 30 after 21 days of progestin to suppress my ovaries. But this is what we got. The doctor told us to have timed intercourse after catching my ovulation via ultrasound and bloodwork. And so we listened. And here we are.

Next beta is Wednesday morning.

Sit down for this

I had very heavy period like bleeding for about 36 hours late Thursday and all day Friday. I called it CD 1 and even scheduled my CD 3 baseline ultrasound to check on the cysts.
Then it went to very light spotting and almost stopped on Saturday. I kept feeling so awful and some of the things kept reminding me of my last chemical in August.
I just had a bad feeling for the past couple of days when I started spotting at 5 DPO and then bleeding at 9 DPO that a chemical pregnancy was a possiblity. I even talked myself out of testing on 10 DPO. I wanted to protect myself from the knowledge that I could be having another miscarriage. Finally after the the bleeding slowed down so much on Saturday, I couldn't take it any more. I tested.
It was a pretty faint line on the FRER but definitely pink and with in the time limit.

I admit that I emailed 2 of my close friends that I knew could still be up 11 pm and cussed up a storm about having a chemical pregnancy. They were super supportive as always. Then I phoned the on call doctor who told me I could start the left over progesterone supplements from my Clomid cycles. I go on Monday for a beta.

But in all honesty, it's probably just a chemical pregnancy based on the amount of bleeding I've had.


I'm not one to share "weird feelings" unless I have some proof. At this point, I hope to have some hcg still left in my system for the blood draw on Monday. I know chemical pregnancies happen all the time without evidence other than a positive pee stick at home. But I worry about being taken seriously. ::big eye roll::
I did get a positive on Sunday with a digital pregnancy test so that was reassuring in a small way.

I almost didn't share it with my pregnancy loss prayer group. But then I got an email from another friend in that group and decided that it was a lack of faith NOT to ask for prayers. Miracles do happen after all. I just usually don't expect them for me.

I'm okay with it. Kind of numb I suppose. I've had two miscarriages, I can get through a third. I just want to know for sure that it's a CP and then I can stop the progesterone. Part of me didn't even want to bother with it but there's always a small chance. I didn't think anything good could come of this late ovulation. And things definitely aren't looking good.

There's no way in hell I'm announcing a BFP. I didn't even do that with my second pregnancy and I was only spotting then.

This isn't working

The two Clomid cycles have been a waste.

The first cycle the IUI was 48 hours post trigger because we did a Post Coital Test at 24 hours. Awful timing. A single IUI should be at 36 hours post trigger shot. So not much chance of that one working from the get go after the failed PCT.

The second Clomid cycle it looks like I ovulated on CD 10 based on when my period started. I didn't start using OPK that cycle until after my u/s on CD 11. My nurse had assured me that it wasn't neccessary. Of course I kicked myself for not starting it sooner. We didn't even have sex until CD 10 that cycle. My lining was thin on CD 11 so there probably wasn't a chance even if we'd had timed intercourse before. Then I ended up with 9 cysts on my ovaries which required us to take a break cycle. After enduring the progestin hell, I'm taking stock of our situation.

So, the two medicated cycles have been a big bust. That's three wasted cycles.

We TTC on our own, for three unmedicated cycles and got pregnant twice. And miscarried twice of course.

So the score is:

Medicated cycles: 0-3
Unmedicated cycles: 2-3

Hmmm? Yeah. It's like that.


We both work for the same company and I feel like we've burned up some of their good graces by all the days we've already asked off for testing and procedures. We travel for work and a doctor appointment requires a complete day off.


There's been 5 firings in the past two days so I'm afraid to push our luck and jeopardize our jobs right now by asking for 2-3 days off for monitoring and IUI. Since they want to start doing follicle checks on CD 8 because of my early ovulation on Clomid, it might take two appointments before I could trigger. Then a third day would be required for the IUI. It's just getting too stressful right now.


I'm leaning towards taking a cycle or two off to TTC on our own without Clomid or IUI. There's no medical reason that we can't. It's only my age and thus questionable eggs that are bad quality which could be the reason for the miscarriages. But my hormones and his sperm are all normal.

TTC on our own with just the CBEFM and some Presed will reduce the stress level by 90%. It will also give me time to allow the accupunture to work. I have my first appointment on Monday!

Then we can do another cycle or two of Clomid/IUI before starting injectibles. That would be around May. We plan to stop traveling in May. I may have a different job by then.

Before we do injects, I would need to be home any way because the monitoring is a lot more often. I think you almost have to go every other day as they change your injectible dosage.

So we're going back to basics. I would be thrilled to death if I got pregnant again with a sticky baby. Of course the second I get pregnant again, I'll be scared to death. But I'd rather be pregnant and scared than unpregnant without hope.

I have a baseline u/s on Monday. I'm going to spring our plan on my nurse and see what she has to say.

Hopefully I killed his sperm

We didn't do our homework until this morning. We should have sex late Sunday night but I felt bad for Chris. Chris got a cold yesterday. He woke up at 1:30 AM shivering like crazy. I forced him to take some Tylenol Cold for the fever but it may have been too late.

I had the Post Coital today. My RE used a catheter and syringe to pull out a sample of my CM from inside my cervix. She was disappointed in the amount of CM and she had trouble getting the sample. I had a small amount of EWCM on Saturday but none yesterday or today.

I killed all of Chris' sperm. There was only one alive and still swimming. Well hopefully I killed his sperm. If not then the fever did him in.

There was one other alive sperm, but it was not swimming right. She said the pass or fail is 5 alive and swimming sperm in the field of study under the microscope. She said there were a lot of sperm, just all dead. She thinks it's the Clomid that made me hostile to the sperm. To get around this Clomid side effect we are doing the IUI tomorrow. I asked her if the fever Chris had could cause sperm count problems and she agreed that it could. Lousy timing, she said. Yeah, real lousy and costing us a lot with time off work plus the cost of the IUI.

My RE said we'll know tomorrow when they do the sample. If there's a lot of dead sperm or a low count, then the fever is affecting it. If tomorrow's sperm count is bad, we won't have much of a chance. The IUI is all or nothing.

CD 3 Ultrasound

I went for my CD 3 u/s prior to starting the Clomid. I met my doctor's nurse, Leslie. She did the transvaginal u/s and really the only one I saw the entire visit.

My u/s was fine, no cysts on my ovaries so we are good to go. At the previous u/s Dr W found 3 parovarian cysts on my left ovary. She said that I shouldn't be concerned about them but to let the nurse know about them because sometimes they can be confused with ovarian cysts. So I in a round about way, mentioned them to Leslie before she started looking at lefty. I didn't want to tell her how to do her job, but I wanted to prevent any trouble. Who wants to have a second of trouble while on an exam table half naked? She had some difficulty finding all three of them. But eventually she got them measured to make sure they weren't growing or doing anything weird.

I admit that I'm slightly disappointed with their u/s viewing. Dr Creepy Skulker had big wall mounted plasma TVs for our viewing pleaseure. Dr W just has the standard u/s set up with monitor by the exam table. No biggie, of course.

I guess I was just spoiled. There's nothing like seeing your innards up on the wall. Some were even 3-D shots. (How some of those pregnant women would be jealous of a 3-D ultrasound! Ah yes, the "benefits" of IF.) For my viewing pleasure, my uterus was up on the wall, on a plamsa TV screen. But it certainly wasn't in HD. And it certainly is disappointing when there's no baby in there.


I'm sure all of us would much rather be on the other side of the fertility aisle and not reap those lovely "benefits" of uterus snap shots.





Afterwards I asked my questions.
Do I need to use an OPK and be prepared to trigger with the Ovidrel if I get a positive? No, the CD 12 u/s should be plenty of time.
Do they supplement with estrogen if my lining is thin?
Yes, but that's rarely necessary. The baby aspirin should help with that too.

I wish I'd asked about the PCT. Some studies say that it's not a very good test of hostile CM. Plus I've read that normally they are done within hours of having sex. We're set to do it about 12 hours after.

HSG and spilliage

This is my last appointment with Dr G. I'm so ready to switch to the new clinic.

Before every procedure they do a pregnancy blood test. Blowing a fertilized egg out of the uterus is generally not a good thing.

So I had to get there an hour before my procedure was scheduled for this blood test. I go back and wait for the nurse to finish some other paperwork. Dr G is skulking around back there just outside of the blood draw area. I only look at him out of the corner of my eye. I really don't want to talk to him. Next thing I know, he's doing wall push ups. Directly across from me. There's a whole clinic and decides to show off directly in my eye sight. Weird, I tell you.

And again the blood draw is painless. Cheree is good but it still bothers me that she doesn't glove up.

I now go back out to wait for the blood test and the okay to take my 800 mg of ibuprophen.

They finally call me back. Again, I'm the last patient left in the office. I'm hoping the doctor isn't in a hurry for lunch or worse yet shaking from hypoglycemia.

We have some chit chat as I get prepped. "Slide a little farther down the table, please." I swear you can have your butt hanging off the table and they still want you farther down.


Mine wasn't an xray and it wasn't the SHG. I've had that one too. They used some different imaging options on the u/s machine. They had me empty my bladder so they could use the external u/s to verify they were getting the stuff into my uterus.
He shot my cervix up with novocaine. Then we waited for a couple of minutes to get me numb. He dilated my cervix and put the catether in and then the dye medium which had lidocaine added to it. Then they put the balloon to keep the dye from coming out. Then they switched to the transvaginal ultrasound. It was just very crampy but it never lasted very long. Deep breathing in and out helped control the pain. I got to see the pictures on the tv screen on the wall.


Everything is open and clear. I have great "spillage." My tubes are open. Well duh, doctor, that is probably how I got pregnant twice.

I have cramping now that varies in intensity. Nothing horibble so far. I feel like crap right now but I think that I'm hungry and feeling a caffiene headache. I didn't drink all of my coffee this morning. Maybe that's a sign I should give it up.

They told me to drink lots of water to help with the cramps. Maybe that helps your body to get rid of the contrast dye? I'm also to avoid aerobics. I don't think that was on my schedule today anyway.


It was awful trying to get out of there without setting up the IUI cycle. I hated to tell them because I wanted them to be nice to me.
Breaking up is so hard to do!
I told them we were going to Ohio to visit family for the holidays and were unsure of our travel schedule. :(
I tried to get a copy of the HSG images on CD per my new doctor's request but they wouldn't give them up. I even had them ask Dr G. "He doesn't do that." I'll get a release from my new doctor and fax it to them. Hopefully they will comply with the law and transfer my records without too much fuss.


I'm spotting a little bit. I took a regular pad with me this time. That clinic thinks pantyliners are enough for everything. Nope.

I'm free! I'm free! Buh-bye creepy skulking doctor! Hello, new RE!

I have DRUGS!!!

Fed Ex just brought my Clomid, Ovidrel, and progesterone!!

I have drugs! Yay.

And of course, he rang the the door bell while I was in the shower. I'd been up since 5:00 AM but didn't head for the shower until around 9:00. Stupid? Yes. I thought it was still early yet.

As soon as I started rinsing my hair, I hear the knock. I had actually ran to the upstairs window while dripping 1 minute before because I heard a noice outside. I was very anxious for my meds. So this time I see the truck outside.
I grabbed my shorts and tshirt off the floor, ran down the stairs dripping wet. Yelling, "yes, I'll be there just a minute!" I get to the door and struggled putting on my clothes while checking out the peek hole. Now yelling, "Just a second more!" I managed to put my shirt on inside out and backwards. I also had water drops on my glasses. Very cute!

I signed for the package and offered the driver a water or Pepsi. He declined. I wouldn't have taken anything from the crazy looking lady either.

I ordered from Freedom Pharmacy. Tricia recommended it and my RE office uses them too.
I need to check on buying Clomid locally if there's a next cycle. Again thanks, Tricia.

So here's my drugs and cost breakdown. I feel that it's cheap considering what injectibles will cost (approx $1500/cycle)

Clomid 100 mg a day for 5 days: $31.90
Ovidrel .5 ML shot $44.25
Progesterone 200 MG (30 caps) $75.00

The progesterone is for two cycles so it's not too bad. And it seems like overnight shipping is included. The Ovidrel requires refrigeration so that's the rush to get it delivered. I need to pick up my Baby Aspirin and I'm set!

Hopefully I have the right egg

My "old" doctor (yes, I'm changing clinics) called me this morning and wanted to reschedule my HSG from today to Friday. So now I'm going on Friday to that alone without Chris and will have to drive that night. :( Oh well, it's just one day.

The new RE (Reproductive Endrocrinologist) is Dr W. She asked me why I was there and I told her Recurrent Pregnancy Loss and Low AMH (Anti Muellerian Hormone- that's the only test I "flunked" at Dr G's and indicates poor ovarian reserve.)

She immediately said she doesn't have much use for the AMH test! Yes!
The old doctor was basing everything on that test. She said it's too new of a test and the result values are not very standardized yet. It was originally studied in London and they use a different value measurement system. Repromedix is a big fertility lab and their website says very plainly that AMH should not be relied upon soley to determine ovarian reserve.

She's very hopeful since I have normal FSH, LH, estradial, follicle count and ovary volume. She thinks those are much better indicators of ovarian reserve. She would love if the AMH test was accuarate but she's had too many women with low AMH have successful pregnancies. She basically said that the AMH shows I'm not a fertile as a 20 year old but we knew that already. She feels that it's just indicative of my age. Now if a 20 year old had low AMH, then it would be a more serious problem.

She also said IVF was something that should be worked up to. There's many steps to try before going there. She said she was confident that I would have a baby. I know that's a standard pep talk but it was still nice to hear her say it. It was nice to hear after the other doctor was all doom and gloom.

Did I ever mention that Dr G is creepy? I told Chris once and he didn't get it until the other day when he felt creeped out too. Maybe someone telling you that you need IVF helps push them over to creepy-dom but I think this guy comes by it honestly.

Back to Dr W: She said it was up to me whether I have the HSG done. It wouldn't hurt and may help since it would "blow out" my tubes. That could clear out any debris in there. So I'm still getting it done on Friday. Again it was nice to hear that she agreed that I didn't *need* the HSG since I've been pregnant twice on my own. One of those tubes has to be open!

I had an ultrasound and there aren't any cysts in my ovaries. So I probably didn't ovulate even though I had all those cramps around CD 13-14 like normal. She said it was still possible but there was no evidence of it.

All her RPL patients are on baby aspirin and prosgesterone. BA helps with implantation issues and is given to those with known clotting disorders. Progesterone helps support the uterine lining. Both are extras to help with a pregnancy. They do no harm but could help. So I'm to start this next cycle.
On CD 3- next week! I'll go in for an ultrasound to verify there's no cysts. She said CD 3 blood work wasn't necessary since I've had two normal FSH cycles. Wow, a doctor wanting to save me money!!

On CD 5-9, I will take 100 mg of Clomid. Clomid masks the estrogen receptors in my body which will cause more FSH to be release. More Follicle Stimulating Hormones = more follicles= more eggs hopefully. Dr W says that it will increase the risk of twins to about 10-15%. Clomid does have some side effects so we'll do a PCT to verify that I'm still sperm friendly and my uterine lining is okay.

On CD 12 I have another u/s and will probably trigger with Ovridel. Ovridel is an injected medicine that mimicks the LH surge. It will "trigger" ovulation, maybe of more than one egg if the follicles are mature.

We are to have sex and then go in the next day for a Post Coital Test. If the post coital is bad, then I'll have an IUI the next day to get the sperm where they need to be.

I'll then start progesterone supplements (think she said 3 days post trigger). Progesterone is produced naturally by the CL cyst in the ovary. However there's some debate whether low progesterone causes a miscarriage or a bad pregnancy causes low progesterone. I'm glad I found a doctor that is willing support with progesterone just in case it will help.

We'll do this for 3-4 cycles before moving on to injectibles. At 3 cycles, we'll talk if I want to do the 4th or move on to injectibles.

So that's the game plan. Baby aspirin, Clomid, timed intercourse, IUI if necessary, and progesterone.

She sounded very positive that we just need to get the right egg and the right sperm together. Hopefully I have the right egg!

We have contact!

Finally. It only took two days and about a dozen phone calls, but we now have an appointment at a new IF clinic for a second opinion.

http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/ART2005/clindata05.asp?Location=94

Hopefully the fact that the scheduling person is busy is a good sign. The appointment is in just over a week so I can't really complain. This clinic has very good stats for IVF if it does come down to that.

I tried to get into the same clinic that my sister in law went to but it's not on my health insurance plan. I only have infertility testing covered on my plan. So IVF/IUI aren't covered. But any little bit that I can get covered is worth it. Also *when* I get pregnant again, all of that blood work and ultrasounds will be covered at this clinic. This new clinic also has slightly better live birth stats than my sister in law's. But it also has a slightly higher cycle cancellation rate too. So that may be a wash.

I'm not 100% sure that I am changing from clinics yet. But we're going to start with the second opinion and go from there. It will partly depend on what this new doctor says, what diagnostic testing will need repeated, and how soon we can try to get pregnant again.

I may do the IUI cycle with the old clinic and then transfer if it's not successful.

Another step closer to baby.

Oh, and happy birthday, Mom.

My head may explode

I just got back from the doctor's office. While the tech was doing the CD 3 u/s today, the doctor asked me, "So what do think?" It was like he forgot to give me some information to think over at the last appointment. We've had no follow up consultation yet.
WTH? I don't know my choices yet and he's asking for a decision.

My RE wants to do IVF and I'm on BCP.

Okay, did you have to pick your jaw off the floor? Cause I sure did when I heard that. He thinks I have crummy eggs and not many of them left despite most of the ovarian reserve tests being normal. Including normal ovarian activity! I don't know my follicle count since we got side tracked but he said it was normal.

I had one freaking miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy right after (yeah still a miscarriage, but aren't CP common?!)

And now he wants to do IVF with PGD at $25,000 a pop.


He asked me if we were ready to move to IVF. :( Let me say that's not what you want to discuss half naked with a ultra sound wand stuck up inside you. I was expecting Clomid and maybe IUI based on some online articles regarding poor ovarian reserve but I was not prepared to hear IVF so *soon.*

He's stuck on the idea that I have poor ovarian reserve. Despite the fact that my CD 3 hormones and ovarian activity are normal and indicate an okay reserve. He said low/poor ovarian reserve can go hand in hand with poor egg quality. It doesn't automatically mean poor quality but it's likely since there's a smaller pool of eggs.

I told him that I wasn't ready to jump from getting pregnant on my own straight to IVF. The doctor countered with doing IUI and injectibles.

Chris countered with IUI and Clomid. Even though Chris didn't pronounce it correctly, I'm glad he was there because I was still kind of stunned. They hadn't yet given us any info on costs or anything to help make this decision.

The doctor called Clomid weak but agreed to do a cycle or two with IUI. BUT the quencher:And I now have to have a HSG! GRRR! They should have scheduled that this past cycle during all the other testing. I don't mind the procedure itself but why didn't we do it earlier?

They won't give me Clomid or injectibles until I have an HSG. So guess what? I'm on f'ing birth control pills for a month. HSG is scheduled Nov 6 which is CD 18. I guess they don't want a fertilized egg floating around to get blown out of my uterus/tubes.

I cried and cried. Still kind of crying. I'm so mad that they wasted this cycle.

My IUI will potentially be right after Thanksgiving. I kind of get why he wants to do an IUI since sometimes Clomid causes CM problems and we're in a hurry to get me pregnant because of the potential low ovarian reserve.

I've never had any kind of stimulation and he wanted to jump to the big guns. It took me by surprise. Part of me wants to start with injectibles instead of Clomid but I couldn't make that decision in 10 minutes standing at the doctor's office.

So that was my day. My head may explode any moment.



It was like he forgot to give me some information to think over at the last apointment. He asked me if we were ready to move to IVF. :( Let me say that's not what you want to discuss half naked with a u/s wand stuck up inside you. I was expecting Clomid and maybe IUI based on some online articles regarding poor ovarian reserve but I was not prepared to hear IVF so soon. He's stuck on the idea that I have poor ovarian reserve. Despite the fact that my CD 3 hormones and ovarian activity (number of follicles getting ready to become an egg) are normal and indicate an okay reserve. Poor/low ovarian reserve means there's not a lot of eggs left and when there's not a lot left, then the quality of the eggs goes down too. So I told him that I wasn't ready to jump from getting pregnant on my own straight to IVF. The doctor countered with doing IUI and injectibles. Chris countered with IUI and Clomid. (Even though he didn't pronounce it correctly, I'm glad he was there because I was still kind of stunned.) I now have to have a HSG! GRRR! They should have scheduled that this past cycle during all the other crap. They won't give me Clomid or injectibles until I have an HSG. So guess what? I'm on fucking birth control pills for a month. HSG is scheduled Nov 6. I cried and cried. Still kind of crying. My IUI will potentially be right after Thanksgiving.

And more testing...

Today I had a procedure called SHG at the RE's office. It's normally performed on CD 7-10.

I got good news today. I have no uterine abnormalities that would have caused the miscarriages. I am sooo relieved! Thank God!


I do have the one small fibroid but it's at the bottom and back of my uterus. It's not supposed to be in the way of the baby implanting or growing. I guess the prime real estate in the uterus is the top. That's where most embryos implant. It's possible that the fibroid is causing the weird bleeding before my period. Fibroids are pretty common and luckily I only have the one in my uterus. But he said that we may not ever know what causes the strange bleeding. It may be unexplainable if it's not hormonal. I've had it every month except for the first pregnancy. So hopefully it won't cause problems with a "good" pregnancy.

The pain of the procedure wasn't too bad. It did cause some pretty bad cramping when he put the catheter through my cervix. The cramping has eased up a little. It comes and goes. Mostly it's just pressure now and my stomach feels hard too. The one bad thing from the procedure is that the nurse gave me a small panty liner for afterwards. They use betadine to clean the cervix and then there's the saline solution that they insert to lift away the lining of the uterus.

Well I wondered if the panty liner would be enough but I wasn't sure how much saline solution was actually used. Some came out when I was on the table and then a little more when I stood up. We stopped at Loews for a light bulb on the way home. I felt kind of damp so I asked Chris to look at my behind as I walked him front of him. He said my butt looked fine! ;)

I got home and the crotch of my pants was all wet! You couldn't see it when I stood up at least. But come on! They should know that a panty liner isn't enough. I felt bad for anyone that had to go to work after the procedure. So my advice, take a regular pad just in case.

I also got some of my CD 3 blood work back. It was all normal. Part of that checked my ovarian reserve/egg quality. So far so good. There's another test that we are waiting for (AMH) that will also help indicate premature ovarian failure.

I don't know what the FSH:LH levels were exactly. He told me the results were normal after the SHG when I was still half naked on the table. I couldn't do much more than nod and say okay. Questions are difficult to formulate under such conditions. :)

Chris' SA and blood work from Monday still aren't back yet. I don't know why they don't have that yet if they test the sperm in the lab right there. . The doctor did say it would be back by the time I have the endo lining biopsy on 10/17. So that and the rest of the RPL panel are what we are waiting on right now.

I'm thankful that everything is okay so far. And I'm hopeful for the future!

17 vials of blood later....

I feel that I totally deserve this Taco Bell for lunch! Hey, I did order chicken and there are some vegetable looking things underneath all the cheese, beans and sour cream. So it's not all bad. I need to build my strength back up, right?

Today I had my CD 3 bloodwork drawn at the RE's (fertility doctor) office this morning. That was 3 vials of blood out of my left arm. No biggie, right?

Then I had the RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) panel draw down at Labcorp. The RE's office wasn't set up for the special handling some of the tests require. The poor lab tech at Labcorp. I actually felt worse for her than myself. She kept going over and over the tests ordered and the vials needed. She even left the room for about 15 minutes to verify somethings. I tried not to get nervous and kept thinking positively. It's only $4500 worth of lab work!

She told me that she really hoped I had that much blood to give. I told her I'd been doing my homework and downing water for the past day. Thankfully the blood kept flowing and she got all the vials filled. When the last one was complete, she put her arms on the table top and bowed her head and thanked Jesus it was done! Bless her heart. We had both praying, lol.

That was 14 vials of blood out of my right arm!

(Side note: if you are right handed, get the big doozie blood draws out of your left arm. I still have wimpy arm going on)

I didn't even get dizzy until I was in the car driving home. It was just a little dizziness though and I was minutes from the house. I had already safely secured the Taco Hell. :)

I'm feeling better now. Partially because my belly is full and but mostly due to the fact that the blood work is done! YAY! Let the testing begin!

And I have the evil satisfaction that DH has a (SA) Sperm Analysis and a blood draw for genetic karyotyping next week. :)


My appointment at the RE's went okay too. They gave me an ultra sound to look at my uterus and ovaries at the beginning of my cycle. My right ovary looked perfect with 7 follicles. My left ovary looked a little different. There was some debate between the doctor and the u/s tech. At first they thought it could be some fluid in my fallopian tubes (bad news). Then after some pushing and prodding around, they decided it was nothing to be concerned about and possibly was just my ovary. I definitely have one small fibroid but it's in an "okay" spot in my uterus. Not prime real estate for the baby to implant in.

My next appointment is 10/4. I'll have a SHG (don't ask what that stands for!) Basically it's a saline u/s. The saline solution will left away my lining from my uterus so they can visualize the inside. They will be looking for septums, fibroids, and polyps.

Our first "fertility doctor" appointment

The doctor is a reproductive endrocrinologist. Otherwise called a RE.

The doctor was pretty nice. He seems very reassuring and so far I feel that we're in good hands with him. We'll see.

He did an extensive interview and medical history with us. He liked the TCOYF charts (BBT charting of my cycle) and asked what program it was. I saw he actually referenced the legend key a couple of times so it was more than just a cursory glance.

We have some major blood to give! The RPL panel (Recurring Pregnancy Loss) -genetic, immune system, and clotting bloodwork- may be expensive. There's a mobile lab that will come to our house to do that side of it. They are supposed to check with our insurance company to see what/if any of that will be covered. They give a deep discount if we use them without insurance so that's "nice." Otherwise they can do it in the office.

We can schedule that part of it as soon as they get back to us on our insurance.
The next step is Cycle Day 3 blood work for me. They could be as early as next Tuesday.

Then between CD 7-10 I will have a saline u/s to check the inside of my uterus. I'm glad I'm having this procedure done instead of the HSG because this will be done in his office. I've gotten pregnant 2 out of 3 months we've TTC so there's probably not a tube issue.

And when he did an exam today he said that he felt what was probably a fibroid outside of my uterus. It's possible that thing could compress my uterus on one side. Thus inhibiting the uterus from expanding with a growing baby. Which could cause a miscarriage. So that's something they will look for too. I hope I don't need surgerty to fix anything!

After that fun time, on CD 22 I'll have a endometrial biopsy. We should have all the testing done in October. It will be just however long it takes to get back results.
We have to avoid trying to get pregnant for at least October and maybe Novemember as we test and wait for all the results to come back.

Here's the advice he wants us to do for now:
Chris is supposed to take a multivitamin like Centrum twice a day! He's also supposed to drink 2 Mountain Dews a day to stimulate the sperm to swim better. Dr G said that there's been some studies on caffiene affecting the sperm motility. And that he noticed some of his patients having really crazy good swimmers. He asked them what they were doing and it turns out it was caffiene. He said coffee and Mt Dew seem to have the best amount for it.
He said basically it was his unofficial study based on some of his patients.

The advice for me was to try yoga to ease the stress/relax and eating healthy and excerising. He didn't say anything about my weight thankfully. I'd been thinking about buying a prenatal yoga DVD so now I have a legit reason to do it.
I did lose a little weight. I'm down 6 pounds but I'm still up from what I weighed in June when I was pregnant. I really need to try hard the next couple of months we have off from TTC.


So we're hopeful but at the same time it's kind of scary to start down this road.