This 2 Week Wait is the time from my last beta to my first ultrasound. I have no bloodwork to help me get through this time.
It's stressful. Pregnancy is supposed to a joyous time. But after miscarriage it's not so easy to get through these early days. I suppose it's not easy to get through any of the 9 months until I bring a baby home in my arms.
I'm trying to stay positive. Whenever a negative thought creeps into my mind I try to immediately replace it with a positive.
I've been having a lot of trouble with cramps. And with the lack of them. Everyone knows cramping is a sign of a growing pregnancy as the uterus stretches. Everyone that has had a miscarriage also knows that cramping is a sign of pregnancy that is about to end.
Last Sunday I had a lot of cramping. That was scary because I kept comparing them to the cramps of my miscarriages and of my period starting.
Upon message board advice I drank some more water and rested.
My cramping pretty much went away from Wednesday to Friday. That was scary because all I could think was that the pregnancy stopped growing.
Here's what I'm trying to remember:
Pregnancy symptoms are different from person to person.
Pregnancy symptoms are different from pregnancy to pregnancy.
Pregnancy symptoms are different from day to day.
Some wonderful ladies have written emails encouraging me.
I pulled these gems from some of the emails:
"This is God's baby and God's baby alone, whatever happens is in His hands"
Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God"
"This could be my last pregnancy, so I need to enjoy every minute of it."
The following mantras are taken from the Success After a Loss Board to help those newly pregnant after a miscarriage.
"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."
"I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."
"My past does not dictate my future. A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage."
"Just because something sad is happening to another, it does not mean it will happen to you." We all know miscarriage is not contagious!
And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a miscarriage. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."