"You do testes?"

I had my final beta this morning. A different nurse called me back for the blood draw. While she wrote down my cell number for the results call, I told her not to feel bad when she calls me. That I was pretty sure it was negative.

Imagine in a thick Spanish accent: She says, "You do testes at home?"

I say, "WHAT?" Meanwhile I'm thinking my DH would enjoy this conversation.

"You do testes already?" She repeats it again and I get that she is saying tests as in pregnancy tests. LMAO! My ear does not "hear" Spanglish very good. Too much of my life was spent in Ohio.

ME: "Yes, I got a negative this morning."

Nurse: "We have a lot of women get pregnant on the second cycle."

ME: Thinking this, not saying it out loud because she's getting ready to stick me. "Well if I'd known that, I could have only paid $32 for the Clomid. Taken it and called it done. Next cycle, please. I could have skipped paying $566 for monitoring and the IUI. This whole month would have been a lot cheaper, easier, and less painful."

I talked to another nurse, Tania, about the irritation from the progesterone suppositories. She said it's not a yeast infection and that Aquaphor from Eucerin is the best soothing treatment. I bought a huge container of it at Walmart today. I'm ready to take a bath in that stuff!

I'll have my test result after 3 pm today. But it pretty much has to be negative unless it's another pregnancy gone bad. There's no doubt when I ovulated.

3:09 PM and the results: Negative